Page 79 of Take My Breath Away
“No, of course it wasn’t. Why would you? You’ve got all your plans. Moving to Brighton.” His shoulders sag. “I’m sorry. I’ve thrown a spanner in the works, I should never have—” He sits back and takes his hands from mine.
“No.” I pounce on his hands and drag them back. There’s no way, no way at all, I’m going to let this moment go. I suck in a deep breath. “It’s just a massive surprise, that’s all. But you’re right about something. I do have my plans, and I won’t give up on them. So I need to know, James, I need to know exactly what it is you’re asking me.”
My heart’s all but punching its way through my ribs. Me and James, and what we could be together… But he’s right about my plans.
I’ve always put myself second to every man in my life, always put what I wanted and needed to the side and all I’ve got for my trouble is a kick in the teeth. I’m drawn to the coast and Brighton’s a great place, but it’s also a symbol of my independence, of setting up on my own and carving out a business on my terms. As much as I want to jump up on the table and fist pump the air I can’t just roll over and say yes. God, as much as I want to do that, this time I can’t.
“I’m asking you not to leave, but to stay as—as my partner.” Two red patches appear on his cheeks. He laughs, but it’s unsure and nervous, and he can’t meet my eye. “I don’t have much of a track record, if any. You know what I’ve been like, I’ve never tried to gloss over that, but I’ve changed and it surprises me more than you can ever know.”
James looks up at me, at last, and when he does his eyes are somber and serious, another facet of this endlessly fascinating, captivating man.
“I’ve changed because of you, Perry. You. You’ve made me want to change. You’ve made me want to be a better man.”
A better man…To me, he’s the best man there is.
“I—I don’t know what to say.”
“I’m hoping you’re going to say yes. But I’m not, and never would, ask you to sacrifice your dreams and ambitions. I want to help you with them, Perry, I want to help you in any way I can to make them a reality. We can find you proper premises, a professionally set up kitchen with everything you need on a small business unit that’s aimed at start-ups. Do that here in London because you’ll have a better chance at making a success of it here rather than in some grim bungalow in Brighton. You can look at getting tangled up with me as a kind of business decision, if it helps.” He gives me a wan, tentative smile.
No, James will never be a cold business decision, not to me. He’s thought about it, he’s thought about what I need to help me become the man I want to be. I don’t have to think about it, I don’t have to take time, because I already know what my answer’s going to be.
“I rather liked the bungalow. It was the avocado bathroom suite and the pink tiling that sold it to me.”
“I’m not averse to retiling the bathroom in pink if that’s what you want.” He smile’s surer as hope lights up his eyes, but it flickers and dies. “I know you were enthusiastic about setting up on the coast—”
“Yes, but going down to Brighton was always about more than the place itself. It was about starting again, about doing what I wanted to do on my own terms. It was a symbol.”
“I know there’s a lot to consider. I’ll never stand in the way of what you want to do, I promise. You’ve got a remarkable talent and you need to use it. I want to help you realise your ambition but I want to help you realise it here, with me. Do you think that’s something you could want as well?”
It’s like he’s asking me if I want the sun to shine, or for it to snow on Christmas Day. Of course I want it. I answer him the only way I know how. I ease my hands away from his and place my palms on either side of his face and kiss him.
“Is that a good enough answer for you?” I murmur against his lips, before I kiss him again.
Chapter Thirty-Four
PERRY
We hardly finish our breakfast, both of us eager to get home.
Home. It really is home now.
As soon as we’re through the door, we slam it closed and I all but leap on James. His eyes widen in surprise as I push him against the wall but surprise turns to dark heat as I grind myself into him. I need to mark this new beginning in the most basic and dirty way I know how.
“I hope this is how you mean to go on Mr. Buckland?” he says, as I drag his jacket from his shoulders and throw it to the floor.
“This is very much how I mean to go on.”
I’m scrabbling at the buckle of his belt, my fingers clumsy in their need and eagerness. Somehow I manage to undo it, and drag the zip of his jeans down over the hard bulge between his legs, letting them pool at his feet.
I drop to my knees.
James’ cock is a huge ridge in his pristine white briefs and I nuzzle into him, closing my eyes as I breathe in deep taking in a heady mix of shower gel and the tang of his arousal. I look up at him through my lashes and my heart trips and stumbles. His neck’s arched backwards, his eyes closed, and his breath comes in hard, ragged gasps; a deep flush covers his face. How did he ever think I could say no to this?
Dragging the edge of my teeth over his erection, James’ whole body shivers as a groan escapes his lips.
The tip of his cockhead’s breached the waistband of his briefs. I swipe my tongue over the slick purple head and he mutters something deep in his throat as he thrusts his hips forward. I could take him in now, take in every inch. My mouth waters at the thought. But not yet, not now. Instead, I kiss and nip and suck my way along his shaft, through the straining cotton, and once again run the edge of my teeth over his length. He hisses but he’s not in pain as he grinds forward and rubs himself over my face.
I want to tease, I want to draw the moment out, I want to make this slow, but who am I kidding? I need to taste him, feel the weight of him in my mouth, and drink down every single drop of him.
