Page 109 of Out of the Shadows
COSMO
Laughing Boy’s got the right idea. I need a huge pair of noise cancelling headphones to drown out the talk of the party tonight.
With just five days to go before we close for Christmas, the Kingsbury Group is pulling out all the stops for Cleaver Jackson. New life has been breathed into the corpse. With bigger, better, bolder investments, the firm’s not only confident, it’s aggressive. It’s forging ahead, and it’s all down to the sainted Daniel Russo. Our reward is a bonus in our pay packets and an evening of canapés and champagne in a marquee on the garden rooftop of a flashy West End hotel.
Of course, I’m not going.
The invite came before… well, it came, and I accepted as I plotted and planned how I was going to manage a slow dance with Daniel. Not that I really believed it was ever going to happen, but it’d been fun to fantasise about.Yeah, right. I swig down the last of my coffee, as cold and bitter as I am.
The thing is, I don’t feel bitter, not anymore. All I feel is downcast and despondent, flat and tired. It’s hard to have the energy to feel bitter, not when I’ve barely slept for over a week. I’ll slink off later, claiming a sickness bug, and go home to the telly and a takeaway.
“I’ve got a fabulous dress for this evening. It’s a twenties flapper style, silver lamé and with lots of tassels, and—sorry, Cosmo, what was that caustic remark?”
Fiona’s standing over me, one hand cupping an ear.
“Sounds nice. You’ll look good.”
She frowns down at me, and pulls a spare chair across and plonks herself down.
“A compliment, from you? That’s not normal.” She hesitates for a second, before thinking better of being tactful. “Cosmo, what’s wrong? You’ve not been yourself for a few days.”
Tell me about it…
There’s concern written across her face, as she touches me lightly on the arm, and for a moment I waver. I could tell her because I’ll be leaving the company soon, or as soon as I can… No. I trust her not to gossip, but it’ll feel too much like peeling back a scab on a bloody wound.
“Just been having a few personal issues, but they’re sorted out now. Or nearly. I’m not coming this evening, though. I’m not in the party mood.”
So much for slinking off.
“Oh, no. If you’ve been having a rough time, then surely a party is what you need? Free booze, don’t forget. That alone should be enough of an enticement. There’s a live band, too. Come on, whatever’s happened you’re not one to mope in a corner. If you don’t go we’ll be without the two best looking men in the company. Give a girl some eye candy!” She smiles and it’s difficult not to smile back, but…
“What do you mean,without the two best looking men?” I lick my suddenly dry lips.
“Daniel, of course. He’s not going. Haven’t you noticed he’s not been in today? Not for the last couple of days in fact.”
Of course I have. I’ve not wanted to but I have.
She shrugs. “Shame, because I’d made it my mission of the evening to snag a dance from him, but that’s not going to happen now.”
I bite down on the inside of my cheek, willing my expression to stay neutral.
Fiona gets up and smiles down at me. “Please say you’ll come, because otherwise I’m going to badger you all day. Free booze. Make that your mantra.”
Her phone rings, saving me from any immediate badgering. I turn back to my computer and the report I’m working on, but the words blur. He won’t be there tonight…
Fuck it.
I’ve worked my balls off for this company and I deserve a slice of the celebratory cake. Daniel’s not going — all the better. And what did Fiona say? I’m not one to mope in a corner. She’s right, I’m not. Scrubbing my fingers through my hair, I suck in a deep breath.
Something’s rushing through me, sparking the blood in my veins. Not anger, but determination. I’m tired of moping, of being flat and lifeless. I’m tired of how Daniel’s made me feel. I won’t slink away, to find solace in the TV and a delivery pizza. Instead I’ll go and be my bright and dazzling, totally fabulous self. Free booze? I’ll drink it all and dance Daniel Russo out of my system and tell myself I won’t be beaten down by him or any man ever again.
