Page 15 of Out of the Shadows
“So he’s still fit as fuck? I remember you saying that, when you got back here after your first day. You were, let’s say, very excited.”
“Let’s not.” I shove Freddie with the heel of one of my feet — and catch him square in the balls.
“Jesus, Cos, watch what you’re doing.” He shoves my feet aside and hunches over, his face redder than ever, his voice higher than it has any right to be for a man who’s passed his mid-twenties.
“So sorry.”
He glares at me, and I jump up to go and get some more beers from the fridge.
When I return, Freddie’s a bit more composed and a lot more forgiving than I would be if I’d been kicked in the bollocks. I hand the beer to him, and we share a smile as we clink our bottles. Any thoughts I had earlier of fun and games in The Highlander have faded to nothing because here, with my best friend, is a million times better.
“Seriously, how’s working with him turning out?”
I hesitate for a moment, not quite sure how to answer.
“Awkward. He keeps his distance, which would be okay if he were like that with everybody else, but he’s treating me differently and it hacks me off. Makes me think he’s conjuring up a special circle of hell for me further down the line. Our exchanges are very formal, bordering icy. Or at least they are when I’m not calling him a prick, and he’s not chucking beer at me or hugging me around the waist.”
Freddie chokes on a mouthful of his lager, almost spraying it everywhere.
“You called him awhat?I’m not surprised he threw beer over you. But where does giving you a cuddle come in to it?”
His eyes are almost popping out of his head. Being the good friend I am, I tell him everything, finishing with the stumble on the underground’s escalators.
“I’m surprised he didn’t sack you for a second time. I mean, calling your boss a…” Freddie’s lips twitch before he dissolves into full-scale laughter. “But pulling you in for a clinch? You’d have come in your pants if that had happened when you were first working for him. You had the hots so bad there was steam coming off you, which only got worse when you found out he was straight.” His laughter dies away and his face drops into a pit of mortification. “Oh, Jesus, Cos. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. It was later, long after my fantasies over Daniel Russo were brought to a sudden and violent end, that I learnedthatlesson. Believe me, I’m in no hurry to repeat it.”
“I didn’t think—”
“I said don’t worry, and I mean it.”
Muttering about needing the loo, Freddie rushes from the room.
Freddie didn’t need to elaborate, because we both know what he was talking about.
Straight guys.
They’ve always been my danger zone. The trouble is, one time I wandered in too far from the edge, and got caught up in the bomb blast. I’ve still got the wounds, but I keep them covered and out of sight. Straight guys are now strictly fantasy material, indulged in the darkness of my bedroom. It’s where they’re going to stay, because they’re too damn dangerous to be let loose in the light of day.
When Freddie returns, he’s come back via the kitchen, and he’s armed with my biscuit barrel. He sets it down on the coffee table, pushing aside the plates and the giant box which held the pizza, and prises off the lid.
“Hmm.” He breathes in the escape of sweetness. “Hobnobs and choc chip cookies.” He dives in and I follow suit.
We munch our way through several more before Freddie brings up the subject of Daniel again. I’m stupid to imagine he might have forgotten.
“So, what are you going to do? It must be tricky working for somebody you detest but fancy at the same time.” He bites into another biscuit, and I blink at him, not sure which part of the sentence to tackle first.
“I don’t fancy him. My innocent and wide-eyed twenty-two-year-old self might have done, and yes he was my favourite wank fantasy at the time, can’t deny that, but five years on a lot has changed. He’s uptight, has more than a hint of the prick about him—”
“Which you made no bones about telling him.”
“And straight,” I say, ignoring his comment. “It might come as a surprise to you when I say none of which are in the top ten of what I’m looking for in a man.”
“And what are you looking for?”
I grin. Freddie’s walked straight into that one.
“Oh, you know. Tall, strong, hard muscles and a fucking great big—”
