Page 54 of Out of the Shadows
“How do you know—?”
“I did some research, on the internet.” His lips twitch with amusement, softening his deadpan expression. “You were engaged.”
“Yes. We fell apart. As a couple. The way it fell apart with every woman I’ve been with. I was going through the motions, and she knew it. You saw me with her, in that pub.”
The Breaker’s Yard, when you were kissing that man, where you had your legs wrapped around him…My shoulders stiffen and I grind my teeth.
“Does she know?”
I nod. “It was Geraldine who told me I have to be true to myself. And she’s right. I love her and always will, but not in that way.”
“Bet you weren’t expecting all this, when you walked in here. I know I wasn’t. What a way to end the working week.” He shifts off the desk and stretches. “You still haven’t answered my question, though.”
“Do I have to answer it?” I stare up at him, into those unreadable moss green eyes.
“Yes, you do.”
He’s giving me no quarter, and I don’t blame him. I think of Geraldine. Beautiful, intelligent, wonderful Geraldine. It’s no lie when I say I love her. But I force myself to think beyond that… To going through the motions, feelings and emotions shut down, only able to perform when I imagined hard muscles rather than soft curves, thankful to get it over with.
My stomach knots so hard a spasm of pain rocks me, because I hate myself for thinking of her in this way. But it’s a truth I can no longer deny, just as it was a truth for those who went before.
Swallowing, I look up at Cosmo. He’s watching me, waiting for my answer.
“No, I’m not bisexual. I’m—”
I hesitate, because I can’t not, before I say the word that will change my life forever.
“I’m gay.”
