Page 58 of Out of the Shadows
DANIEL
Every time the door of the small Italian restaurant opens my head shoots up and each time it isn’t Cosmo who walks through I’m not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved. The restaurant is small and intimate and bathed in soft lamplight with little pockets of shadow. It’s the perfect place for a date.
I pick up my gin and tonic, my hand not quite as steady as I’d like. I asked a man out. A man who said yes. A man who’s years and years younger than me, a man I work with… Part of me wants to bolt, but so much more of me wants him to walk in with a smile on his face which is only for me. I finish my drink, and resist the urge to order another.
The door opens, and he’s here. It’s too late to run, even if I want to.
My mouth dries and my heart rate picks up. He looks amazing, but this is also a version of Cosmo I’ve not seen before. I’ve only ever seen him in business suits, the de facto work uniform, or the very casual clothing he wore in Devon — and what, I suppose, I could call his club clothes. But this evening he’s somebody else altogether.
Cosmo takes his coat off and hands it to the waiter who’s greeted him, revealing dark tailored trousers and a moss green fitted shirt, the same colour as his eyes, with the two top buttons undone. His hair, even from this distance, is looser than the way he normally wears it at work. Less gelled, less hard, less City boy I suppose. It makes him seem softer, blunting his cocksure edge that’s both alluring and infuriating.
He must sense my eyes on him because he turns from the waiter and looks straight at me. His lips lift in an uneasy, crooked smile, telling me he’s as nervous about this evening as I am.
“Sorry if I kept you waiting.” Cosmo takes the seat opposite me.
I shake my head. “I’ve not been here long. My meeting ran over, and I didn’t have time to go home, hence the suit and briefcase I’m afraid.”
He smiles. “You look fine. More than.”
Cosmo’s eyes rake over me, brazen and unashamed. A flush burns my cheeks and I’m pleased the lights are low.
The waiter who greeted him comes across and takes his drink order, and I add in another G&T.
“So.” Cosmo rests his forearms on the table and leans forward. “What exactly do we do on a date?”
His face is so earnest it’s impossible not to burst out laughing.
“Well, in my experience I wine and dine you. We ask questions of each other to decide whether or not we like each other enough to make it to date number two. At the end of the evening I kiss you goodnight before I put you in a cab to send you safely home.”
“Ohhh, I like the sound of the wining and dining and the kiss. Not so sure about being packed off in a cab, though.” He picks up the glass the waiter has just set down in front of him and takes a sip, his eyes smiling at me over the rim.
“Seeing as neither of us live far from here, I suppose we can dispense with the cab and I can, instead, escort you home.”
“I think I like that better. So when you escort me back to my house, I guess like any good and respectable date, I should ask you in for coffee.”
In for coffee…
The words sound as though they’re wrapped in quotes. He grins at me with a mischievous light in his eyes before he picks up the menu.
“I’ve often passed here and wondered what it was like,” he says, placing the menu back on the table a couple of minutes later. “I’ve heard lots of good things about it. I thought about making a booking, a couple of times, but never did.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’d have been on my own, and it’s not really that kind of place.”
He looks around, and it’s impossible to miss his meaning.
Every table is taken up with couples, smiling and laughing. Most are mixed sex, but one table by the window seats two men. My gaze lingers as one picks up the hand of the other and presses it to his lips. I look away, but am immediately pulled back, fascinated by their easy, and very public, familiarity and affection.
The arrival of the waiter, asking if we’re ready to order, pulls my attention back. When he retreats, Cosmo leans forward a little, and smiles at me.
“This all feels slightly strange.” He must see the surprise on my face, because he rushes ahead. “I don’t mean weird strange. I mean unusual strange. Different strange.”
“I’m on a date with a man. How strange do you think I’m finding it?”
“Whoops. I guess I walked into that, but it’s put us on an even footing.”
“How can we be? I’ve never dated a guy before.” I do my best not to lower my voice, but it’s difficult not to.
