Page 86 of Out of the Shadows
I like dancing, and the music and darkness is a welcome distraction. Everybody’s throwing themselves into it, writhing and grinding, hips and arses moving with the fast, insistent beat. It’s both thrilling and disconcerting because once again I have to remind myself nobody cares, nobody’s watching, that I don’t have to modify or hold back. It’s freeing, I suppose, but freedom after being locked away for so long carries its own fear. But I can’t let that defeat me. If I can’t feel free here, where can I? Cosmo doesn’t deserve that from me, but neither do I.
Cosmo’s dancing close, but he’s barely touching me and I know he’s holding back and allowing me to take the lead. But I don’t want distance between us, not even a hair’s breadth. I drag him into my arms, crushing his solid body tight against my own. God, but doesn’t it feel right, doesn’t it feel real.
For so long I’d been used to Geraldine’s gym honed but willowy body that although familiar never, ever felt right. I hold Cosmo harder in a kind of silent thanks and he answers by pressing in close, grinding his hips against mine, pulsing a thrill through me as his erection nudges at my thigh. I groan because I can’t not, as I thrust my own hips forward. Cosmo’s answering laugh trips down my backbone.
“I kind of think you might be getting the hang of this gay thing.”
“With you I am.”
I crush my lips to his, moaning as his hands travel up and down my back before reaching lower and settling on my arse where his cupped hands pull me closer to his grinding hips.
The sound of the crowd and the music fades as we move to our own rhythm, the two of us undulating in perfect time. Our kiss breaks but only for a second as we chase our breaths, before they find each other again. Kissing him will never grow old. His lips are hard and masculine yet soft and supple, and my dick pulses at the sting of scruff against my close shaved skin.
Another break of lips, another catch of breath. We’re by the wall, out of the crush of the crowd, although I don’t know how we’ve got here, but as Cosmo presses his weight against mine, I don’t care. He pins me tight, preventing my escape when escape is the last thing I want to do. Forcing my legs wide, Cosmo pushes in and rides my leg, his erection rubbing against my hip and catching the tip of my cock through my jeans.
“Oh, fuck,” I gasp as his hand creeps down my body and cups my shaft through the denim.
Cosmo’s answering chuckle vibrates through me, as he kisses his way across my throat, my jawline, up to my ear. His breath is hot and fast, his voice unsteady.
“Reckon we need to find somewhere private, don’t you?”
My heart’s going crazy, the beat racing dangerously out of control, and before I can find the breath to answer, Cosmo’s dragging me away from the wall and from the room, through the kitchen, and out the French windows. He pulls me along, retracing the steps to the bottom of the garden I took earlier when I fled, fear and awkwardness my only companions. He shoves me up against the large tree which dominates this end of the garden. Away from the house, and the outdoor heaters, the night time air is cold.
“Cosmo, wait—”
He presses into me. “Ever had sex against a tree? Or up a tree? I did, on my eighteenth birthday, but we fell out and I almost broke my—”
“What? Look, I don’t think we should—”
He stills, and goes quiet.
“You want to stop? Ah…right. Okay. It’s not quite the same message you were giving me in there.” He jerks his head towards the house, at the same time he steps back, taking all his warmth and playfulness with him.
“Come here.”
I pull him back to me before he can retreat further, and I wrap my arms around him, but his body’s no longer pliant but stiff and unyielding. I’m not going to let him stay like this. I brush my lips to his ear.
“It will come as no surprise to you I haven’t had tree sex of any description. However, I was once the recipient of a very unsatisfactory hand job behind the loading bay of the local Tesco Superstore, courtesy of the woman who supervised the cheese counter. I was sixteen and a Saturday boy.”
A tremor shakes his body. He’s laughing, just as I hoped he’d do, and his muscles relent and relax.
“Did you make sure you got discount on cheddar and assorted cheese-based products, for being so obliging?”
Cosmo looks up at me, a smile playing on his lips, and the savage tempo of my heart calms.
“I’m sorry.” I brush his hair from his brow. “In the house and dancing the way we were, I’ve never done that before—”
“Danced at a party?”
I huff. “You know what I mean. The way we danced, in front of everybody—”
“Everybody who didn’t give a toss what we were doing. In case you didn’t notice, there was a lot more than dancing going on in there. I was kind of hoping there’d be a lot more than dancing going on out here.” He gives the tree a regretful look.
“I know. I’m not against tree sex in principle it’s just that here, in your cousin’s house… I’m not sure I’d feel right. But there’s a tree in my garden, and perhaps when the weather’s warmer…?” I tilt his chin up. A crooked smile lifts his lips, and relief washes through me. “Doesn’t mean we can’t make out, though.”
“Make out? Have we just been teleported back to 1950s small town USA? Are you going to buy me a soda after at the drug store thingy?”
He’s laughing, and the wash of relief turns to a flood.
