Page 89 of Animal Instincts
“When I came to Love’s Harbour, I wasn’t just running from everything that had happened in London. It had been a massive blow, I’ll never deny that, and my confidence took one hell of a kicking. But, in a twisted way, it also gave me a way out. I was sick of the stress of city life. Of the frenetic pace that only seemed to get worse with every single day. Of the direction Donald was determined to take the practice in. Everything I trained to be a vet for was growing more distant by the day.
“Do you remember me telling you how I craved green hills rather than city streets, and how I read and re-read a book about a country vet?”
Joss nodded.
“Coming here was a way of bringing that dream to life, of becoming the vet I truly wanted to be. Not pushing expensive, questionable treatments on clients, not constantlymonetising.”
“Coming to the Harbour was the way to make the dream a reality,” Joss said, not asking the question he knew the answer to, but stating a fact.
“Yes. I told myself I could make a new and better life, on my terms. All the pieces were here: a rural community, a smaller, more straightforward practice where I could concentrate one hundred percent on caring for people’s animals. A slower pace of life. But becoming part of it was tougher than I thought it’d be. Not the vet part of it, but themepart.
“I made attempts to integrate with the village when I first arrived, but if I’m honest it was a bit half-hearted. That battered to a pulp self confidence, remember. James was pushing me, too, to kick start my life again. He was only being the good friend he’s always been, but I was sick of others believing they knew what was best for me.”
Joss huffed. “Sounds a bit familiar, don’t you think?”
“I know, and I should have realised. I’ve been short sighted about so much.”
“But what I don’t get is why you let Spencer get under your skin the way he did, and make you… make you doubt us.”
Joss’ voice caught in his throat and he made to turn aside, but Oliver caught him in his arms and held him fast.
“Because I allowed myself to doubt when I should have had no doubt at all. I had what I wanted in life, but I let the likes of Spencer and Gary, people who mean less than nothing to us, make me question if you had whatyoureally and truly wanted. It made me question myself, made me believe that if you stayed in the village, and with me, I’d be tethering you to the place you’d always wanted to escape from. All your ambition, to live what you believed would be a bigger, better life, it had all blown away. And it was because of me. I was holding you back, and as much as it tore me apart to push you away, I thought I had no choice.”
“What about my choice? What about what I wanted? Didn’t you ever think those decisions were for me to make? Not you, but me? I’m not a kid, Oliver—”
Joss held up his hand, halting the interruption Oliver was about to make.
“I’m an adult and I know what I want from life. Meeting you, working with you, getting to know you. Loving you. They’re the things that have shown me what it is I need and want. Didn’t I say to you, once, that ambitions can change?
“For as long as I can remember, I was searching for something but I didn’t know what that something was. If I couldn’t find it — whateveritwas — in Love’s Harbour, it had to be elsewhere. But it wasn’t something, but someone. And that someone is you. You’re what I’ve been looking for. You’re the one who can help me fulfil all my dreams, because you’re everything I’ve been searching for. I love you, Oliver, I think I’ve known it from the start. I know it here, and here.” Joss tapped his head before he laid his hand on his heart.”
“Even after what I did?”
“Even when you sent me away, yes, I still loved you. I didn’t want to, but the heart wants what it wants.”
“And your heart wants me?”
“Yes, my heart wants you.” Joss moved in close, his lips no more than a breath away from Oliver’s. “Let me show you how much.”
Joss’ eyes closed as he crushed his lips to Oliver’s in a deep, dark kiss.
Oliver… his man, always his man…
Let me show you…
EPILOGUE
ONE YEAR LATER
Joss lounged in the patio chair and released a long, contented, and very satisfied sigh. But then he had a lot to be very satisfied and contented about, he supposed, as he looked out over the pretty walled garden, vibrant with summer colour. Amidst the sweet perfumed flowers, bees buzzed their lazy way around and a blackbird, high in the tree, sang its heart out. Joss closed his eyes and tilted his face to the early evening sun, its heat tempered by a soft, light breeze.
“You can’t fall asleep, because there’s pudding.”
Joss opened his eyes and smiled.
“Does caramel apple cake count as pudding?” He nodded to the cake Oliver held, almost too big for the plate it was balanced on.
“I can take it away if you’re going to be fussy. You can have a small orange, instead.”
