Page 49 of Daddy's Christmas Elf
And I don’t want to see you look at Peter the way you did, but hey, you can’t have everything in life.
“Come inside. I’ve finished work, and that’s it until the New Year. Let’s have lunch — perhaps jacket potatoes with some Eli Original toppings?” Grey smiled and arched his brows. Eli smiled back, even though it felt like the curve of his lips was held in place by thin and fragile threads.
They microwaved the potatoes then finished them off in the oven to crisp up. Baked beans and cheese were dumped on top, the perennial best seller.
Eli stared down at the meal he didn’t want. Christ, somebody had to mention Peter, and it didn’t look like it’d be Grey any time soon.
“He seemed nice. Peter, I mean.” Eli attempted to smile across the table to Grey, but gave it up as a bad job.
“He is.” Grey forked up some fluffy potato.
Eli mashed his beans down; he wasn’t sure if he’d actually eaten anything.
“Did he ask you who I was?” Eli’s breath baited as he waited for Grey to tell him.
Grey laughed quietly. “He was curious but I just told him what you’d already said, that we met at a party.”
“He must have wondered about me, though? After all, this used to be his home.”
Why am I asking this stuff?But Peter’s sudden arrival was a scab Eli couldn’t help but pick at.
Grey jumped up, and made for the sink where he filled two large glasses with water which he brought back to the table.
“We didn’t really talk about who you are and how you’ve come to be here.” Grey chugged down half the water in his glass.
Eli’s shoulders twitched at Grey’s clipped, brusque tone. Grey wasn’t giving him that unnerving stare, but his face was closed off, his features unreadable.
We didn’t really talk about who you are…Not talked about, as though he wasn’t important enough to waste breath on.
Eli picked at the scab some more.
“Then what did you talk about? You seemed very pleased to see each other.”
Grey took another gulp from his glass, almost emptying it, his gaze over the rim locked on Eli. Eli held it, resisting the urge to dive under the table like a cowed puppy.
“It was good to see him again. He was being nosy, just as I said he’d be, and he admitted as much. But he was concerned I’d be on my own over Christmas, and I know him well enough to know it was genuine. I’ve barely seen or heard from him since the divorce, and I suppose we’ve both been letting the dust settle. But, we were together for years, and most of that time was good.”
Grey put his glass down with a hard thump, hard enough for Trevor to issue an admonishing bark from his pillow in the corner.
“He gave me a gift, a book that holds sentimental value. He also came to tell me he’s met somebody. A circus skills trainer, of all things. Not convinced that’s going to run the course, but then who am I to talk because the two of us didn’t, either.”
Grey scowled and stabbed at what was left of his potato before he pushed his plate away. He looked at Eli and smiled, but Eli didn’t miss the shadows in Grey’s eyes, dulling their vibrant blue. He looked fed-up, downcast and dejected; his ex-husband had found a new man and a new life and he didn’t like it one little bit.
It’s because you still love him…
What would Grey say if Peter asked for a second chance, to put the past behind them and start again? The packet of cigarettes burned in Eli’s pocket, the urge to pull them out and light up every single one and suck all that poisonous smoke deep down into his lungs clawed at him.
Grey gathered up the plates, making no comment on Eli’s untouched meal, his gaze settling for a moment on Eli before he turned away.
“Come on, it’s Christmas Eve so let’s watch some feel good films and gorge on mince pies.”
Feel good films, an abundance of sweetness to disguise the bitterness of real life.
Eli nodded and forced a smile on his face as he got up and let Grey lead him into the living room.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
The coffee table was strewn not just with mince pies, but with little stollen bites and what remained of the box of artisan chocolates, plus a couple of glasses of egg nog. With the fire burning in the grate as the snow fell thick all over the city, it should have been the perfect easing into Christmas proper. But nothing felt right. Everything was skewed and off centre, the calm waters of the last few days now turbulent and raging.
