Page 54 of Hearts Colliding
Yes, Alex Love was officially adorable. The ropes around Ryan's heart pulled tighter.
Alex sat up, the bedding falling around his waist, and rubbed his eyes. Sunlight streamed into the room, warming his fair skin. Ryan shot a glance towards the tall windows. He and Alex were on full display to anybody making their way to the door. Yes, he should get up and draw the curtains tight. Instead, he put his hand on Alex's warm back.
Alex sighed as Ryan slowly circled his palm between his sharp shoulder blades. Ryan's gaze, like his palm, made a slow sweep across Alex’s back. His vertebrae didn’t jut out, but they were discernible. Thin. Maybe a little too thin. Next time, he really would bring over some pies, and perhaps some of his nan's chicken stew, and a crumble with clotted cream, something real to eat rather than fancy frozen ready meals.
“I was thinking about pies. Do you prefer steak and stilton, chicken, or veggie?” It was better than saying 'you need feeding up' and risk being chucked out of their warm and cosy den.
“Pies? Erm...." Alex blinked.
“No need to answer now, you have time to consider your pie of choice.”
Alex chuckled. “I’ll give it the utmost thought and consideration. Talking about food, can you stick around for lunch?”
"I can't, not today. I have to be back to get ready for the afternoon shift.” He should have arranged to take the day off. Sure, his nan would have turned her keen eyes on him but Alex had been right, she didn’t know what was happening, there was no way she or anybody could know. Just fishing, that was all. Ryan shivered, as the sunlight streaming into the room was blotted out by a cloud.
“Of course. I understand.” Alex’s voice mirrored his own disappointment. “We’ll make the most of breakfast instead. If you’re hungry, that is?”
“Oh, yes, I'm very hungry." With a grin, he pulled Alex back down into their makeshift bed.
* * *
Ryan stood by the kitchen window, clutching his coffee. His gaze fell on an outbuilding, one of the many that would be converted if the plans were approved. Like the house itself, they would make stunning homes, and would feature in full colour on the Veranne website, alongside a few lines extolling the charm of the nearby village of Love’s Harbour… The coffee in his stomach turned sour, and he put the mug aside.
The development, and all the changes it would bring. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass.
Increased business. Good for many, if it were a matter of simple economics. He was a businessman, as Alex had pointed out before they had become whatever it was they were. But at what cost?
They’d made a promise to not talk about the plans when they were together, about what it’d mean to the village but also to themselves. Ryan and Alex, Alex and Ryan. It was all they were when they were alone, it was all that mattered, everything else put aside, out of sight, as though it didn’t exist. Ryan sighed. But it did exist, whatever they chose to tell themselves and each other.
The house he stood in would become apartments, every sign of who he and Alex were, of what they’d shared, rubbed out as though it had never been. They still had time but it was running out as the clock ticked down the weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds.
How the fuck could theynottalk about it?
Ryan's stomach clenched in rebellion.
A slamming door was followed by the rapid click-click of claws on the kitchen's flagstone floor. Swinging away from the window, he watched Henry, in another natty coat, pad his way across. Scrambling up onto his hind legs, he whimpered to be picked up.
"How many coats do you have, Henry?” Ryan scooped up the dog, and cuddled him against his chest.
"Every self-respecting dachshund needs an extensive wardrobe. The right outfit for town, country weekends, drinks receptions, the opera..." Alex hung up Henry’s lead and shrugged off his own, very natty, Barbour jacket.
"I've seen him in so many outfits, I could almost believe you. Almost.” Ryan set Henry down, who waddled off to his food bowl.
"When do you have to go? You can stay a little longer, can’t you?”
Ryan wanted to stay a whole lot longer, but he was too slow to answer and a tiny frown creased Alex’s brow.
“I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you to stay, not if you really do have to leave.”
“You’re not forcing me to do anything.” Ryan closed the gap between them and wrapping his hand around Alex's wrist, pulled him into a chair at the table. He sat down next to him.
“I know we said—”
“That whilst we were together, we wouldn't let anything else intrude? Why do I get the feeling that’s about to change?” Alex pulled his wrist away.
Ryan threw his head back, and stared up at the ceiling. Why had he opened his mouth? In spite of all the crap that swirled around them, with Alex he was happier than he’d ever been. It would take no more than a few words to blow it all apart, yet it was a risk he had to take.
“We can't ignore what's happening, despite what we promised each other.” He met Alex's gaze, pale blue, flat, and unreadable. Fucking hell. He should have kept quiet, but it was too late. “The decision’s only a couple of weeks away. What will you do if it’s not in your favour?”
