Page 59 of Hearts Colliding
“You will. Yes, a bit of normality, that’s what we all need.”
Normality... Ryan nodded, not knowing what to say. He didn't think anything could ever be normal again.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE
Ryan sipped the tea he didn't want. Tea, the panacea for every problem in life, if his nan were to be believed, alongside a plate of biscuits.
Saying no would be like trying to hold back the tide.
"You've got some explaining to do, my boy.”
Even with her teeth out and gumming down on a Hobnob, refusing to say a word was a dangerous path to take. But he was exhausted and wrung out and his face throbbed from the punch and the ice pack. All he wanted was to pull his duvet up over his head and sleep for a month. His nan’s steady gaze told him that wasn't an option.
He put his tea down and returned her gaze.
"Whatever you think, whatever they think, I'm not a traitor. I believe in what we're doing to try and save the village. There wasn’t any pillow talk, as Declan put it, as I never said a word about anything we discussed in or outside of the meetings. He never asked me to betray confidences, and I didn’t ask him to, either.” Ryan slumped into the back of his seat at the kitchen table. For somebody who didn't want to talk, he'd not done too badly.
“What if he had said something that would have helped us in our fight, would you have said anything to us?” Eva watched him carefully over the rim of her mug.
Ryan hesitated. Would he have betrayed Alex's confidence, even if it had given the war council — his family and friends — an advantage? He shook his head.
"No. But we weren’t going to put each other in that situation. We gave our word we wouldn't let everything that’s happening become a wedge between us. I kept that promise.” He touched his swelling eye and winced, but the pain was nothing to the one pounding his heart.
“You've loyalty, I'll give you that. It's a good quality to have.” She rested her hand on his, her grip sure and strong, reassuring, as it had been all his life. The upswell of tears was sudden and unbidden, and he blinked them away.
"I wanted to be his enemy, Nan. From the moment I had that first run-in with him. He was a prick when he had no need to be, and he was everything I detested. But…” He hung his head, because there had always been a ‘but' when it came to Alex.
“It’s got that far, has it?"
“What? I don't understand." He rubbed his brow, at the heavy ache pulsing through his skull. Exhausted, battered and bruised, his thinking was sluggish.
Eva didn't say anything, only stared. He knew that look and it never failed to unnerve him. It was as if she were looking beneath his fragile surface, and reading him like the secret pages in a diary.
"You talked about betrayal—”
"I told you, I didn't betray anybody."
“And l believe you, although I think you might have your work cut out convincing the others. Especially young Declan. Or, maybe I should say I believe you as far as swapping confidences and information’s concerned.”
“Then what is it you’re talking about? Because I’ve got no sodding idea.” He was in no mood for guessing games. Whatever it was she was about to say, he wanted it over with.
"Don't get huffy with me, Ryan. I know you've had a bad day, and it's not even eleven o'clock yet, but that's your fault, not mine.” Eva’s steady, calm words defused the ticking time bomb of his shredded nerves
"Sorry, Nan.” His shoulders sagged. He didn't have the strength to sit up straight. "I can't really join the dots of what it is you're getting at. Like you said, I've had a bad day.”
“Yes, my love, you have. You're knocked down, but you're not dead.”
Ryan shrugged, not really sure he believed her.
"So how did this, whatever you want to call it, begin?”
"Does it really matter? Because what does is that he believes I was in on that stunt this morning.”
"You were, in a way, because you were at the meeting where we talked about making a noise. Well, you were there in body. Not that it worked. The reporter, I mean. I'd never even heard of that wireless station, and I didn’t care much for that young woman. All that make-up she wore, and as for the colour of her hair… Shocking.” The pile of orange curls on top of Eva’s head wobbled. “Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes. Your affair with Alex Love."
“There isn't one, or not any more.”
“Perhaps that's for the best. Don't you think?”
