Page 62 of Hearts Colliding
“What do you think? Didn’t I say we were just opportunity and circumstances?”
The knife of Alex’s words dug deep into Ryan’s heart, wounding and filling him with pain, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t, let it kill him.
"I don't believe you mean that, because you’re forgetting something. I’ve seen who you really are behind the ice. I’ve seen you stripped and naked, all your fears and vulnerability on show, just as I’ve seen your strength and courage. We might have started out as opportunity and circumstances, but we haven’t ended up there.”
"For Christ's sake, Ryan.” Alex lashed out, his pale blue eyes sparking into life. “That’s exactly what we were. It was sex, and yes, okay, it was companionship too — because let me tell you, it gets pretty lonely in this fucking shell of a house.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You know what? I don’t care, not anymore.” He looked at his watch. “Time’s up, and I’ve got a lot to do.” Alex turned away, but Ryan caught his arm and swung him around.
“Alex, I need you to listen to me.”
"But I don't want to because I no longer care about anything you have to say. Why can't you get that into your head?"
Alex pulled himself free and shoved Ryan backwards, his arms swinging up and outward, catching—
“Fuck.” Ryan bent double, wailing as he cradled his face in his hands. Red hot needles dug deep into the swollen, throbbing skin around his eye. Tears of pain trickled over his cheeks as he swallowed down the sickness rising up in him. Blindly staggering to the sofa, he collapsed onto it.
"Ryan?"
“Errghh....Fucking hell.” He rocked from side to side. Next to him, the sofa shifted as Alex sat down. A hand settled on his arm, briefly, before it was gone.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... It was an accident, honestly. I’ve got some pain killers. They're actually for migraines, but—”
“It's all right." Ryan mumbled. His voice sounded as mushy as his eye felt. “That's the second time I've been punched in as many days.”
"It wasn't a punch, or not a deliberate one. I caught you with my hand. And I’ve said sorry.”
“A kick in the balls wouldn’t have hurt half as much.” Ryan let his hands drop. Alex’s gaze roamed over his face, his brow pinching.
“How did it happen?”
“Do you care?”
“Ryan…”
“Okay, okay. I was protecting your honour if you must know. And mine.
“Declan. He works in Harbour Coffee. He and my nan, and a couple of the others, had been hanging back when the reporter showed up. When he saw me leave the house, he put two and two together and came up with whatever he came up with. He thought I’d been sharing the war council’s top secret plans, and that I was some kind of traitor to the cause. I get why he did it, reckon I might have done the same in his shoes.”
“But we never spoke about the development. Didn't you tell him?”
"Of course I did, but he didn't believe me, which he made very clear with his fist. Makes two of you, who think my word’s worth shit.”
“I’m sorry you got punched. I really am, whatever you might think.” Alex got up and stared down at him as he chewed on his lip. “Look, it’s best you go. For both our sakes.”
“I don’t agree.”
“Please, Ry, don’t make this worse.”
Ryan shook his head. “How can it be any worse? You think I’m a liar, and nothing I can say will change your mind. But I never betrayed you or went behind your back. I stuck to the promise we made to each other. Just the two of us. When we were together, there was nothing else, not for me.”
Alex rubbed his hands down his face. “I’m tired and I’ve still got a lot to do. You being here like this, it’s not helping, but if it’s any consolation I do believe you. About not knowing the reporter was going to turn up.”
"Then if you do, why are you pushing me back?" Ryan jumped up and faced Alex, the pulsing pain in his face forgotten against a greater, deeper pain.
“Because it’s over. Whatever we had, or you thought we had, it's over.”
