Page 86 of Meeting Mr. Adorkable
Bibi nodded. “It was why I kept checking on the time. I thought he’d come, Luci, I really thought he would.”
Lucian looked down. How could he be angry with her? She was a good friend, and he was going to miss her more than he could say. He collapsed into her as she enveloped him in her arms. Across the central panel, it was awkward and uncomfortable, but to Lucian, it was everything he needed right now.
“He never called me, not after that last time. Maybe I should have swallowed my pride and fought harder… got on my knees and begged. But I couldn’t. I’ve done that too many times in the past and all it’s got me is another kicking and a gutfull of shame and self loathing. I have to accept that he doesn’t love me, not the way I love him.”
Why pretend his love was in the past, something over and done with, something finished. He loved Arlo, right here and now, and he’d carry on loving him tomorrow and the day after, and the day after that no matter what he told himself. He’d go home with his tail between his legs, slap a sticking plaster across all the hurt, and pray it left nothing more than a tiny scar that faded with time.
Yeah, some fucking hope.
“Hey, look at me Luci.” Bibi pulled out of their clumsy embrace. “The person you have to live with most in this life is yourself. And that means you have to feel good about you. Everybody else, no matter how much you love them, comes second, because the only one who can truly look after you is you.” Her lips dipped in a wry smile. “I know that from personal experience, which I’ll share with you when I come visit you in your castle—”
“It’s not a castle, it’s a manor,” they said in unison, before chuckling.
“But seriously, sometimes you have to swallow your pride, but sometimes you have to wear it like it’s your best coat and only you can know which of those choices to make.”
“Maybe.”
Closing his eyes, he rested his head against the window. He’d made his choice, just as Arlo had. The only problem was, the coat he’d pulled on didn’t feel as if it fit.
* * *
“Lucian! Lucian Blaxston!”
Arlo swung around looking for any sign that Lucian was nearby. Everybody stopped what they were doing, everybody stared. Everybody except the one person he wanted.
Arlo pushed on, bumping, jostling, knocking his way through the knots of people surmising about the holdup. He called out again, and again, and again. Nothing, except more worried stares as people moved out of his way, as though his craziness was contagious.
He stopped, his heart pounding in his chest as he caught his breath. A few yards ahead, a guy with dark floppy hair got out of the front of a car. Lean, dressed in tight dark jeans… He’d found him. He was going to tell him how wrong he’d been, how stupid, how—
The guy looked up, the guy who wasn’t Lucian, before he opened the back passenger door, and reached in to help a small kid out. Arlo sagged, his legs shaking, feeling sick as the adrenaline high plummeted and crashed. He ran a hand over his face, sweat dampening his palm as he collapsed against the nearest car.
“Young man? Young man?” The voice was frail, but insistent. “Are you alright? You look like you’ve had a shock. Here, have a sip of hot tea.”
A wrinkled face stared up at him from the open window. The old man was stick thin and looked older than time, but his eyes were sharp as they met his own.
“Go on, it’ll do you good.” He held out a flask with a gnarled but steady hand.
“Thank you, but I’ve got to find my friend. He’s here somewhere, and if I don’t get to him and tell him—” That I love him, and that I’ve made the worst mistake of my life… Arlo turned away from the old man’s faded light brown eyes, eyes that seemed to see way too much.
“He?” The old man hesitated, just a beat, before he smiled, his creased faced softening.
“You’ll find him, if you’re determined enough. You just need to carry on looking and not give up. He’ll be here, and waiting for you. He’s not caught up in the accident, if that’s what you’re thinking, because that’s some ladies. Mom and daughter in one car, a nun in the other. If that’s supposed to be some kind of message, I don’t know what it is.” The old man chuckled.
“Cars are wrecks, but the ladies aren’t much more than shaken up, with a few cuts and bruises. Or that’s what we’ve heard coming down the line. So nothing to worry about, least ways not concerning your friend. Was that you I heard hollering? For Lucian? Is that right?”
Arlo nodded, too relieved to speak, too relieved it wasn’t Lucian the blue lights flashed for, too relieved Lucian was waiting for him. Now all he had to do was find him and make him believe he was worth waiting for.
The old man smiled, holding Arlo’s gaze. “Then go find him,” he said quietly, “and tell him what it is you need him to know before it’s too late.”
CHAPTERFORTY-FOUR
Lucian jerked, his eyes straining wide. His heart pounding, his breathing fast and shallow as he swung his head from one side to the other.
Arlo had been calling for him, had been racing to find him, to tell him… The dream faded, taking its desperation with it. Lucian wiped a hand across his sweaty brow and took one deep breath, then another, and another, trying and failing to use all the little tricks his mum had taught him.
A dream, nothing more than a bundle of all the stresses and strains of the last few days. He looked at his watch. It’d take a miracle for him to catch his flight. He snorted. He didn’t much feel like believing in miracles anymore.
He peered through the windshield. A couple of cars ahead, Bibi was talking to a guy in a plaid shirt. They were smiling at each other, and Bibi’s giggle drifted across. Since when did Bibi giggle?
