Page 47 of Sparring Partners
“None taken.”
“So, is it serious?” Alex pressed, curiosity lacing his voice.
“I like to think it could be. He’s so unlike anyone I’ve been with before, but that could be a good thing. All I know is that I want to find out, because let’s be honest, the men I’ve been involved with whom I thought were ‘my type’ haven’t worked out, have they?” he joked, using air quotes.
“You mean like us? In the end, we never worked out.”
Luca sighed. “As lovers, no, because we were focused more on our careers than we were on each other. But as friends, I think we worked out very well.”
Their gazes caught and held, full of friendship and more.
Alex gave Luca’s hand a small, light squeeze. “There’s no denying Adrian’s a man you notice. A classic case of tall, dark and handsome. But it’s more than that. He’s the kind of man who turns heads when he walks into a room. There’s something almost wild about him.”
“There is,” Luca conceded. “But I’m not a dopey teenager dazzled by first love. Adrian can be difficult. I’m not blind to what he can be like.”
“So what happens now?”
“We’re still very new. We’re just seeing where it leads.”
“Hmm.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve turned down the chance of what you yourself called your dream job. And very glad I am, too. But you wouldn’t have done that if you’rejust seeing where it leads. This thing with Adrian, it’s serious. Don’t deny it, because I know you too well.”
“It’s too soon to say.” Luca looked away, no longer able to withstand Alex’s intense gaze. Like his friend said, he knew him too well.
Alex smiled, letting him off the hook. “Then maybe it’s all about his brooding good looks and the slight bad boy vibe he gives off. But you couldn’t possibly be that shallow.”
Luca laughed, and grabbed for the lifeline Alex was throwing out. “Shallowness is seriously underrated.” But the lifeline slipped from his grasp, as his laughter died on his tongue. He glanced up at Alex, who looked back at him with patience in his eyes.
“It’s more than that. He’s made me confront myself. I’ve put my career ahead of everything, to the detriment of personal relationships. Not once, not twice, but all the time. And my career’s flourished because of it. The life I’ve lived, most people would envy it and with good reason, but?—”
“The job won’t keep you warm at night.”
“You said that to me before.”
“Because it’s true.”
Luca nodded. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I never questioned myself about the road I’d taken. As far as I was concerned, every part of my life worked. But the situation with Bruno threw me. It was the first time I seriously asked if I’d done the right thing in refusing to go with him when he relocated. The choice he gave me was stark. Him, or my career. And I’d worked so bloody hard to get where I had. I couldn’t give him the answer he demanded of me and… well, you know what happened.”
“You can have both. The career and the man, as long as the pair of you are willing to give and take and work at it. I can say that because I’m living, breathing evidence for it. And you’ll make those compromises for the right man. Bruno wasn’t that man. If he had been, the two of you would have made it work. I know you won’t like to hear it, because when it finished it hurt you like hell, but I think parting ways was the best thing for you.”
Luca flinched. “Why do you say that? I thought you liked him.”
“And I did. But whether I liked him or not had nothing to do with it. When push came to shove, you made a choice, and he wasn’t it. All you’ve done over the last few months is waste energy trying to decide if you should have made a different choice. The answer’s no, because if he was who you really and truly wanted you’d have known. You’d have done everything you could to make it work, but you didn’t.”
“You sound so certain.”
“It’s because I am. When you meet the one for you, no matter how different or even unsuitable he may be, you’ll know. Your life will be tipped on its head, turned upside down and inside out. It’ll be exhilarating, but it’ll also be so bloody scary at times you’ll almost shit yourself. And you’ll just want more and more and more.
“Does Adrian make you want more? Does he make you feel that, every hour, minute and second you’re with him? You have to answer clearly and honestly, with no doubts, because it’s the most important question you’ll ever ask of yourself.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
Adrian gazed down at Luca, sleeping soundly next to him in the bed. It was early, the sun still not fully risen, yet he’d need to get up soon as another busy day beckoned. It would be the same for Luca; different professions yet ones that occupied them both to the full. He needed to wake Luca up, but not for a few minutes.
It had been a long time since he’d woken up with a man and not wanted to either shove him out the door, or slip away quietly and run as fast as he could. His stomach clenched, and he didn’t have a clue whether that was in excitement or fear. His life had been on an even keel. He'd known what each day held. He’d known he’d go to bed alone and wake up alone. It was his life. It was what he’d learnt to expect from it. It was what he’d told himself he wanted, as he ignored the insistent whisper that he was a liar. The evidence was next to him, in the shape of a man who looked like he belonged there.
