Page 40 of Meeting Mr. Christmas
“Girlfriend?” Jed shook his head and chuckled. “There’s no girlfriend.”
Noel didn’t roll his eyes, not this time, not like he’d always done. Because something was different, this time something had changed, but he didn’t know what.
“How did you know I was here? Odette’s isn’t your kind of place. You meeting someone?”
“Just kinda guessed it was where I’d find you when you weren’t home.” He pulled out the chair opposite and sat down at the small table. “It’s different. Reckon I could get used to it. Reckon I could get used to a lot of things.”
“Why would you want to? I mean, why force yourself to like something? If it’s not your thing, then it’s not.” In the warm bar, Noel shivered as Jed gazed at him across the table. They were talking about the bar, about the jazz that had never been Jed’s thing. That was all. It really was.
“I’m not forcing myself. I like it, just didn’t want to admit it even though I always knew. Time to be honest, I guess.”
Noel nodded, shook his head, and nodded again. The music. They were still talking about the music. Weren’t they?
“I saw you here last night. When you were on your date.”
“You did?” Shock jolted Noel’s chest. Why had Jed been there? What had he seen? The questions pushed at Noel, jostling to be asked, but his tongue had turned to lead.
“Hmmm. I didn’t stay too long. So, your date. Are you seeing him again?” Jed tilted his head to the side, his deep gray eyed gaze unflinching.
“I…erm… No, I won’t be seeing him again.” Noel cleared his throat, coughing away the rasp in his voice. “I cancelled. Should have been meeting him here, but… no.”
Across the table, Jed’s lips turned up in a crooked smile as his eyes narrowed, all his focus trained on Noel as he leaned forward. “Reckon you should get rid of that app because you’re not going to need any more dates.”
“What do you mean?”
But Jed didn’t answer. Instead, he ducked down to pull something from the paper carrier he’d put down by the side of the table, the one that proclaimedFloristry by Lucian Blaxston.
Jed pulled out a beautifully wrapped red rose.
“Flowers have a language. This single red rose. Do you know what it says?”
“I…” Noel looked from the flower to Jed. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t breathe, not when he knew, what everybody knew, what red roses meant.
“You asked me if I was here to meet somebody. I am. I’m here to meet you, Noel Christmas. Nobody else. Only you.”
The flower lay between them, a gauntlet laid down for Noel to pick up, or not.
“What… what is it you’re saying to me, Jed?” Because he had to be sure, he had to know, he had to have Jed spell this out to him. He needed razor sharp clarity in a way he’d never needed it before.
Jed exhaled a deep breath, his steady gaze faltering for a moment, before it fixed once more on Noel, sure, steady, and unwavering. “I want to be your date. I want to be your date here and now. I want to be your one and only date. It’s what I always wanted, but I just refused to listen to myself, to that little whisper that’s always been there.”
Noel blinked and blinked again. “But… but I’m a guy.”
Jed threw his head back and laughed, the sound so rich and loud, heads turned in their direction.
“I think I kind of know that. Oh, babe. Sometimes you’re priceless, but that’s just one of the things I love about you. Always have, always will.”
Love… The word beat out a hard rhythm in Noel’s heart as it echoed in his head.
“I was thinking that this could be our first date. The one where I bring you a red rose, and maybe get to kiss you?” Jed’s voice was low, gravelly and so full of desire, Noel’s heart thundered with the wingbeat of every goddam butterfly on the planet.
Jed leaned across the tiny table, across the single red rose which spelled out love. Noel’s eyes dropped to a close as Jed rested his hands on his cheeks, holding him gentle but steady, as lips met lips. Noel sighed, surrendering himself to what his heart had been crying out for since its very first beat. It was the sweetest, most heartfelt kiss he’d ever had. It was the most important kiss of his whole life, and Noel could have lost himself in it forever.
He eased back and out of Jed’s light hold.
“I need you to be sure, Jed. Sure about you, and sure about me.” Noel looked down, his gaze falling on the rose. It would be so easy to give into this moment, to throw himself into Jed’s arms and offer up his heart. Christ, how many times had he longed to do just that? But things had changed between them. In the course of one night their relationship had shifted onto ground that was new territory for them both. He looked up and met Jed’s gaze across the table.
“Every time I saw you with a girl, I wanted to cry. Every time you smiled at her, every time you took her in your arms, every kiss you gave her, I wanted that to be me. It ripped my heart out every goddam time—no, hear me out.” Noel raised both hands, palms out, warding off Jed’s interruption. “I used to cry into my pillow, stifling the sobs so my parents wouldn’t hear, knowing that I couldn’t have with you what it was I really wanted. Because you liked girls, and I got it, but it didn’t make the pain any less real. I never want to have to cry into a pillow again, Jed, so you have to be sure what it is you want from me, because I can’t and won’t risk you waking up one day and asking yourself what the fuck you’ve gone and done.”
