Page 43 of Meeting Mr. Christmas
The morning after the night before… Noel didn’t stop to think, didn’t stop to pick and choose his words or weigh them up. Here and now, he had to dive in.
“I’ve got to know why this has happened. You and me. Us. I sure am glad it has. But you’ve had so many girlfriends, during high school and since. All the really pretty and popular girls. There was never any sign that, that…” He was coming off the tracks. The questions he’d formed in his head as he’d stared down at Jed had been clear, logical. The why of Jed’s revelation had been left unanswered, as it had consumed Noel, as what he’d always believed was impossible had become a true, real possibility. And when they’d got home… But thewhyremained. If they were to go forward and make a life together, he had to know.
Two strong hands grabbed his and held on tight.
“If you think I’ve got second thoughts about what happened last night, and about us, you’re wrong. Do you see me panicking? Do you see me trying to get out of here like my pants are on fire? No, you don’t. I’m not exploring or experimenting. That’s not what’s happening here. No way. As far as I’m concerned, it’s you and me. Us. Noel Christmas and Jed Mason. Just like it’s always been, just like it’s always going to be. But with added gay.”
“Added…” Noel blinked hard. “So, is that who you are? This is an official coming out?” Heat tingled at Noel’s cheeks. After last night, how could he have any doubts left?
Jed shrugged, exhaling a long, deep breath before he spoke. “I don’t know, is the honest answer. Do I have to stick a label on myself? Bi, maybe? Demi? Or pan? But none of those feel like they fit. All I know is that it’s you I’m interested in. It’s you I love, Noel. And only you. Does that have a label? If it does, I’ll get it printed on a pile of T-shirts, every one a color from the rainbow.”
Love… the word burrowed into Noel’s heart where it twisted, turned, somersaulted and finished with a loop the loop, before he groaned and let his head drop forward. “I so wish you’d said something, or that I’d had the courage to do so.”
“We both wasted so much time. I couldn’t risk what we had. Our friendship, it’s been the most important thing in my life. It’s been what’s kept me anchored. I thought, if I did something that threatened it, I’d be left drifting. So I locked everything down about how I really, honestly felt. But I don’t think I hid it as well as I thought.”
“What do you mean?”
Jed placed his palms on either side of Noel’s face and Noel sighed, pushing into the touch.
“All those girls. All those cute little brunettes. My mom always jokes about me having a type, how everyone I’ve dated never deviated from it. She’s right, and it makes me feel bad because deep down I knew every single one was a substitute, an imitation of what I wanted. Or who.”
“But why now? Better late than never, but…” Noel let go of a long, shuddering breath, his eyes dropping to a close when Jed brushed his thumbs over his cheekbones. Stop asking questions… Just grab the gift that had fallen into his lap. Noel dragged his eyes open. He had to know, all the little gaps needed to be filled.
“Maybe because I’ve grown up. Or as grown up as I’ll ever be,” Jed said with a wonky smile. “My life finally feels like it’s taking shape. All the jigsaw pieces are slotting together. I alwaysknew there was a piece missing. I hated every guy you ever dated… None of them deserved that from me, but it didn’t stop me from telling you they were losers. But every time it was me who was the only loser because they had what I wanted. Which was you.” Jed paused, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip. “After what happened between us, when I crashed at your place, I couldn’t keep a lid on what I felt. It was like I was reaching boiling point. I spoke to somebody I respect and trust. It kind of put it all into focus. For the first time in my life, it felt like I could be honest not just with you, but with myself. Whether people from today onwards want to call me gay, or bi, or whatever, I don’t care because I know the truth of who I am.” Jed moved closer, his lips no more than a warm breath away.
“You… you do?”
“Mmm, I do. It’s simple. My name is Jed Mason and I’m a Noelsexual.”
“A…”
Jed was smiling, his eyes bright with mischief and so, so much more.
“You heard right. I’m a Noelsexual, because for me there’s nobody else and there never will be. I loveyou, Noel Christmas, andonlyyou. I always have and I always will.”
Noel sighed as he melted into the kiss. Sweet, soft, tender, with a promise of spice and heat. He’d dreamed about this moment, longed for it so much it had made his body ache with want. But the kiss was so much more. It was a portent of what was to come, of a future, of a life with the man he’d loved from the moment he’d taken his first breath.
The man he was meant to be with, his missing piece of the puzzle, the piece who made him whole and complete.
“Happy Christmas, babe,” Jed whispered against Noel’s lips.
Christmas, and the best one ever, as Jed eased him down into the bed.
“Then we’d better unwrap our gifts.” Noel’s eyes drifted to a close, as deep laugher rumbled through him and a pair of strong arms pulled him in tight.
EPILOGUE
ONE YEAR LATER
Jed lay against the creased, rucked up sheets, a boneless, sated heap. His eyes were closed, the last explosions of white light fading into the blackness. A thin layer of sweat covered his hot, flushed skin, and his breath, which hadn’t been the only thing to be sucked out of his body, was still way too off normal to allow him to say a word. Movement at the bottom of the bed, then a weight thudding down on him, made him grunt. He opened his eyes and smiled because, goddamit, Noel had been making him smile every morning, every afternoon, and every evening for the past year.
“It’s snowing.” Noel, his chin propped on the backs of his hands, smiled.
“Babe, this is Wyoming. In December. When isn’t it snowing?”
“True. It’s also Christmas Eve, and you’re not working. You know how much I want to do this. It’ll be our first in our new home, and it’s right that we do it today. It’ll kinda be like our first anniversary gift to ourselves.”
Jed’s heart stuttered. A whole year since he’d come to his senses and owned up to what he’d always known: he loved Noel, and that he was absolutely, one hundred percent, Noelsexual.
