Page 25 of Melting His Grumpy Heart
It was a war he had no chance of winning.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jake didn’t consciously decide to move, because there was nothing conscious about what was happening. There was only instinct as he leant forward, closing the distance between them. Ru met him halfway, lips meeting lips, Ru’s soft and warm against his own.
Ru made a small sound in the back of his throat, something between surprise and satisfaction, and Jake’s control slipped another notch. His hand came up to cup Ru’s jaw, feeling the slight rasp of stubble against his palm.
The kiss deepened without thought, Ru’s lips parting under his, inviting him in. Jake accepted the invitation, tasting warm, sweet gin and raw desire alongside the sweep of tongue against tongue. Ru’s hands came to rest on his chest, fingers scrunching his shirt. Everything narrowed to points of contact: mouth against mouth, hand against jaw, fingers against chest. The storm, the power cut, the world beyond the lamplit room ceased to exist.
The need for air pulled them apart, but Jake kept his hand where it was, his thumb brushing the corner of Ru’s mouth. Ru’s eyes were wide, pupils dilated in the dim light, his breathinguneven. He looked dazed, his lips damp and pillowy, and the sight sent a fresh surge of want through Jake’s body.
“I’m supposed to be keeping my distance from men like you,” Ru said, his voice husky.
The words hit Jake like freezing cold water, bringing him back to himself. He started to withdraw his hand, but Ru caught it, held it in place.
“Men like me?”
“Men who make me forget all the promises I made to myself.”
The simple admission, the vulnerability in it, loosened something deep within Jake. Because hadn’t Ru madehimforget all the promises he’d made to himself, too?
Ru sighed as he rested his hand on top of Jake’s, his thumb sweeping back and forth, the casual intimacy of the gesture at odds with the sudden seriousness of his expression.
“I made a promise to protect myself better.” Ru hesitated, then seemed to come to a decision. “My ex. It ended badly. It’s a big part of the reason why I found myself heading into a blizzard to a place I’d never been to in a car that’s only good for the scrap heap.”
Ru fell back into the sofa cushions, a small, sad smile quivering on his lips. “The scrap heap,” he said quietly, big grey eyes meeting Jake’s, “for a time it felt like that was where I belonged too, until I told myselfno.That I wouldn’t let what’d happened define me.”
What had happened… Something bad, something bruising, something that had made Ru flee from the life he knew if only for a short while.
“It might not define you, but it hurts like a bitch for longer than it should.”
Ru looked up, their gazes catching. He could see the questions in Ru’s eyes, but Jake shook his head. He wasn’t readyto talk about the decision that wrenched him from the life he loved, and the men who were more than family.
“What was so bad it made you leave London?”
Ru didn’t answer. Jake’s chest constricted. He was delving into areas he shouldn’t be. “I’m sorry, I’ve no right to?—”
“Cooper was, or is, an actor,” Ru cut in, watching the flames in the wood burner as Jake watched him. “Cooper’s his stage name and everybody called him that, even me. He outright refused to answer to Colin, which is his real name.”
“Don’t blame him. I’d change it, too, if it were mine.”
Ru smiled, and chuckled, shifting his gaze to find Jake, just as Jake hoped he would; but both quickly fell away.
“He wasn’t famous, but trying to be. He did theatre mostly, and some minor television parts. Anything he could get his hands on, really. Everybody said we looked great together. Maybe we did, but it turns out it was only ever skin deep as far as he was concerned.” Ru leant forward, and stared into the fire. Jake said nothing, letting Ru take his time, letting him tell his story at his own pace, of the events that had chased him to an isolated farmhouse in the depths of winter. Yet, his hands clenched into fists.
Cooper. Jake already hated him.
“I used to help him learn his lines and drive him to auditions, carving out the time to support him even when I had a deadline looming, or was really tired. If I didn’t, he’d have a tantrum. Or go all cold on me. That was worse. It became easier to go along with what he wanted. I always put it down to stress, but turns out it was because he was a selfish bastard, who only thought of himself.”
Ru collapsed back into the sofa’s cushions, rubbing his eyes.
“You don’t have to tell me. If it’s still raw?—”
“I told you, I won’t let what happened define me. I’m determined to put it all behind me, and I tell myself it’s gettingbetter, but some days…” Ru exhaled a deep breath, his cheeks golf balling before his lips lifted in a small, wry smile. “Kind of soured the mood, haven’t I?”
“No, you haven’t. Tell me, but only if you want to.”
Ru hesitated before he nodded, and continued. “He finally got his break,” Ru said quietly. “It was a supporting role in an indie film that caught critics’ attention. Suddenly he was getting bigger auditions, meeting ‘important people’ who could advance his career. One of those important people was Sophie Scott. Heard of her?”
