Page 29 of She Came Upon A Midnight Clear
“What? You realize that’s one of the most lesbian things you could possibly do. Next you’ll be pumpkin patching together, and then you’ll definitely have to get married,” she teases.
“Halloween is over, so I think we’re safe from that for the year,” I tell her, grinning to myself.
God, wearesuch lesbians. But I don’t know that I’d have it any other way.
“Wait a minute,” Gretchen says. “You went to pick out a tree with her? AChristmastree? You hate the holidays, Evie. For big reasons. This is huge for you.”
“It is. It’s really, really big. But I just feel so safe with her. So seen. And instead of guilt-tripping me for ruining anyone’s holiday, like everyone I’ve ever dated, she just… understands. And she actually wanted to help me work through it. And even more important, she was okay if I couldn’t handle it. Like, really okay.”
“Wow.” Gretchen goes quiet for a moment. “I’m really happy for you. I mean, you’re feeling okay about it all? Where does the confused part come in?”
“I guess…” I pause, running my fingers over the seam on the robe tie. “I guess I’m afraid that everything is too good. Can I trust it? And we’ve been here together for what? Nine days now? It all feels so fast, except it really doesn’t, and I’m not sure if I’m just fooling myself because I justwanther.”
“I don’t know, Evie. I can’t speak for you; all I can speak to is what I’ve seen and heard over the years. And I’ve heard about her a lot. You’ve always had feelings for her, and you guys spent a ton of time together—honestly, I’m kinda surprised that Marcy girl put up with it. But it’s not like she’s a stranger. And in case an outside opinion will help, she’s one of the best human beings I know. It’s not just her work with the dogs; it’s the way she treats everyone. She’s a good one. One of the best.”
I let out a long sigh. “Well, we’ll see what happens. But meanwhile, I’m having some really big feelings about her.” It feels good to say the words aloud. “But tell me about you and Sue? Is that working out?”
“We’re doing a lot better. We needed to talk about some things, but I think we’re on the right track. We’re going to spend Christmas together. She invited me to Christmas Day brunch at her brother’s house, so I think we’re good.”
“Oh, I’m so happy for you.”
“Me, too. The breakup was just a bump in the road for us, I think, and it kicked off some necessary conversations. And I’m so happy for you. I know you’re worried about the permanence, but sometimes you just have to sort of trust the universe, you know?”
“You’re right. I guess I’m over-analyzing, like I always do.”
“Who, you?” she teases, making me laugh.
“Look, everyone’s gotta be good at something.”
She laughs with me, then we hang up, leaving me thinking.
She’s right; I need to let myself just trust what we have. All the doubts and questions will get me into trouble. And Dru hasn’t given me a single reason to doubt her on any level. She’s honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t want it to ever end. Not now that I know what we have.
Stay with me.
Ugh! I need to stop doing even that—praying to some unknown goddess for Dru not to leave me. That’ll be up to her. And me.
I swear to myself to put the fears to rest. Hopefully I can actually do it.
8
Evie
When she comes back in I’m still on the sofa with my phone in my hand.
“Everything okay with the dogs?” I ask her.
She peels her flannel off and shakes the rain out of her beanie, smoothing a hand over her hair. “Yeah, all good. Did you get a call? Was it about not making it back to Davis for work?”
“No, that’s all been handled through email. I, uh, talked to Gretchen. Is that weird? I know you’re her boss.”
“She was your best friend first. I’m not about to take that away from you—or to stop seeing you—just because she works for me. If I feel it’s necessary I’ll meet with Gretchen and talk to her, but she seems pretty chill.”
“She definitely is.”
“Okay, omelet time, then we decorate. Need more coffee?”
“No thanks. But can I help?”
