Page 118 of Sweet Caroline
“No,” he says, the word not much more than a whisper. “It wasn’t you. It was never you.”
I’m not sure I believe him. It was being in my orbit, after all, that brought him so close to breaking.
And if I’d broken him…
I can’t keep doing this to him. Can’t keep dragging him into temptation.
“I wish loving you was enough.” My voice wavers, and I fight to keep it steady. “I wishIwas enough.”
“God, don’t say that. You’re fucking amazing.”
“I’m not fishing for compliments.” I touch his face again. “I just mean, this isn’t the movies. Love doesn’t fix everything. Cure everything.”
“It’s really fucking annoying that it doesn’t.”
A watery laugh burbles out of me and I kiss him again. “Super fucking annoying.”
He grins that crinkly-eyed grin I love so much and I try to memorize it. Memorizehim. The earthy, intoxicating way he smells. That scar at the corner of his mouth. The way he can make me laugh, cry, and melt all in the same moment. He’s perfect.
“You were clear from that first night you couldn’t do this.”
He nods, looking thoughtful. “Almost like I had a feeling this gorgeous fancy girl was gonna trick me into falling for her or something.”
“Is that what I did? Trick you?”
“Definitely. I was minding my own business until you showed up. And then you were all like,be my fake boyfriend!” He does air quotes, pulling a face.“It’ll just be for one night!”
I can’t help but laugh—as blurry, tearful, and heartbroken as I am.
“See? Trickery.” He cocks an eyebrow, sliding a hand down his chest. “And don’t get me started on how you took advantage of my body— Hey!” He steps back when I poke his stomach.
“Youofferedme your body, may I remind you.”
“Oh, right.” His smile is lopsided as he tugs me back against him. “I did that. God,” he sighs, looking thoughtful, “I’m a little bit slutty.”
I sniff. “In the best way.”
“Obviously.”
“Thank you,” I say, my voice quieter than before, although I can’t help the way my lips twitch when I add, “for being mysex sensei.”
“You’re welcome,” he murmurs against my forehead. “Sorry we didn’t finish everything on your list, though… but, y’know, not a bad gig, in the end.”
The end.
The reminder that we’re delaying the inevitable makes me feel colder than seconds ago and my amusement fades. I tug up the collar of my coat against the chilly night air.
“I should go.” Miles hooks a finger under my chin and lifts my face. His kiss is lingering. Apologetic.
Like they never stopped, hot tears stream down my cheeks once more, cooling quickly in the night air. I scramble to pull him closer, not wanting to let go. When we finally break apart, I step back, forcing some distance between us that feels like fighting gravity. “You’re never gonna get out of here if we keep?—”
“Okay, okay,” he says, squeezing my hands and pressing his lips to my forehead one last time before heading to his truck. He’s just opening the door when I call out to him.
“Miles.”
He turns.
“I love you.”
