Page 139 of Sweet Caroline
There’s a tense silence for a beat and awkwardness threatens to creep in.
“Anyway, I guess that’s my speech, so…”
I’m not sure who launches out of their chair first, but it’s Olena who tackles me in a hug as I step down to meet her, followed by a tearful Gus who mutters muffled words into my shoulder—“fuck you for making me cry” and “proud of you” are all I catch.
I turn to Jude, almost unable to look him in the eye as my throat knots up again. He sniffs hard and yanks me into a hug so tight it practically cracks my spine. “Mom and Dad would be so proud of you, too, man.” His voice breaks with emotion. “I know I fuckin’ am. You did this.”
I can’t respond. Can’t find the words to tell him what it means to me to hear him say that. Even if I could, I don’t think I could speak right now if I tried.
When he finally lets go, I have to stop myself from diving straight for Caroline, burying my face in her hair, and telling her exactly what she means to me. She might have come tonight—and just having her in front of me again might be soothing the bruises left on my heart after the last month—but I need to tell her properly that I’m ready. That I want this. Want us. Want everything.
Her cheeks glisten in the firelight and I drift closer, almost involuntarily drawn toward her and powerless to resist. She’s had me hooked like this since the first time I saw her.
“Oh, hey,” Gus says behind me. “Wasn’t I supposed to talk to you two about those, uh… the uh…plants?”
“The plants! Yes!” chirps Olena. “Almost forgot. Remember,Jude? Gus wanted to talk to us…inside… about the whole… plant thing?”
“Riiiight, the plant thing. We better…” I glance over my shoulder as Jude gestures weakly toward the house. “We better go inside to discuss the very important… plants.”
“Because of the landscaping,” Olena awkwardly clarifies.
“Oh my God, just go already,” I say, rolling my eyes at their ridiculous excuses.
They file inside, leaving me and Caroline alone beside the fire. When the sliding door to the kitchen snicks shut, it’s like neither of us knows what to do.
“Oh, fuck, I wanna say so much right now,” I say with a chuckle. “But I’ve talked my ass off already and?—”
“Did you mean it?” Caroline asks in a rush, cutting me off. “The part about fighting for me?”
“God, yes.” I nod, trying to stop the trembling in my chin.
“Miles…” Relief touches her expression, but there’s still caution there.
I inhale to steady myself. “I wanna do this properly.” My voice breaks just saying the words. “You and me. For real this time.”
“But you said you weren’t ready,” she counters.
“I was scared I wasn’t. But this last month… Losing you put me through hell. And I still did it.” I fish the bronze chip from my pocket and hold it out to her. “I didn’t drink.”
When she takes it, our fingers brush, and even that small contact makes me want to haul her against me.
“Proof I can handle hard shit, right?”
She looks up and a tear slips down her cheek.
“Everything’s easier with you, Caroline. Everything.” Throat tightening, I wipe at my tears. “So, whaddaya say, fancy girl? You wanna get on this messy-ass ride with me?” Remembering the other reason for our separation, I add, “And fuck what your dad said. I’ll figure something out withwork and?—”
She’s kissing me before I finish my sentence and it’s like coming up for air—like I can finally breathe again. Through her. With her. Because of her. Because ofus. Every rattled, ragged part of me feels like it’s sliding back into place, rough edges smoothed by having Caroline in my arms again.
We break the kiss and I bend to press my forehead to hers.
Her voice is soft when she speaks. “You don’t need to worry about your job anymore.”
I pull back. “What? You serious?”
“I told my dad off. Long overdue, but…” she trails off, lifting a shoulder.
“Holy shit. Are you okay?”
