Page 118 of Crown of Thorns
Sliding back on my pillow, I force a small smile. The ache is back. He’s not here, I know he isn’t. Then where the fuck is he?
Dad joins me at breakfast, or whatever this is. “Your…situation with Zachary was a surprise.” He butters his sandwich and takes a bite.
“I didn’t know he was a problem until it was too late.”
Dad just nods without asking me what he truly wants to know. What the fuck was I doing there in the dungeons? Why didn’t I come home for my birthday party? Why did I allow myself to get into trouble? But mostly, why did I not call for help sooner?
It’s his way of giving me space, I know that. He’ll patiently wait until I come to him. I always do, I’m an open book, my emotions clear as day.
“Has anyone seen my phone?”
“You’ll get it back when you can come down by yourself.”
“Is this your way of punishing me?”
“It isn’t, and you know it. You need to rest.” He taps against my forehead. “Here.”
He’s right, though I don’t like it. I glare outside, to where the sun is setting. It’s a breathtaking view. One I used to love, growing up, when life was just a game and I was at the winning table. Now it feels like the rug's been yanked from under me,and I’m still falling. Everything I thought I could control is unraveling, fast, loud, like glass shattering in reverse.
I keep waiting for someone to say it’s all been a mistake, that he’s still here, that I haven’t been left behind again. I don’t get what’s going on. My grip on reality is slipping. It feels like the ground’s dropped out from under me, and I’m stuck watching it happen. I want to believe he’s just in the next room, not gone, not erased like he never existed. Just once, I want to stop being the one left clawing at shadows.
My eyes flutter, and the remaining toast slips from my fingers. Dad takes my plate away and puts the blankets up.
“Sleep now.”
The room dims around me. Must be late afternoon, maybe early evening.
“I’m not tired.”
He chuckles softly, then rests his hand lightly on my hair.
The pillow’s soft. It makes my mind slip. I don’t remember the entire night in the dungeon, but I do remember how I felt. Betrayed. Heartbroken. Like I’d reached for him—and he let me fall. He looked me in the eye and didn’t follow. That’s the last thing I saw of Noah. Maybe that’s why it hurts worse. But also like something finally clicked, like we made sense, Noah and I.
Shards of memories torment my mind. They suck me into a deeper sleep, keep me in a slumber even when I try to awake. There is no escape. There are only pieces of us, of them, of things that may have never even happened. When I finally crack my eyes open, I’m hyperventilating. It’s dark outside; the ocean is a silver flicker on the blackness of the horizon.
“Dad?” I can’t fucking move. It’s like my bones still remember the dungeon. I’m hot as hell, and my throat feels like it has been cut open. “Dad!” I cough.
The door swings open and in jogs Dad. “I’m here, mon fils.”
“Dad, I—” He kneels by my side and brushes his thumb over my cheek. I realize I’m crying.
“Shh, Louis.”
“I don’t know what’s going on. I’m losing it.”
“Those motherfuckers drugged you.” Another swipe over my face. “It takes time to leave your system.”
“Where’s Noah, Dad? Please tell me he’s okay.” My chest tightens like a vice, my heart hammering against my ribs as a cold sweat breaks along my spine. My hands tremble. It feels like the ground beneath me is gone, like I’m free-falling with no end in sight. The panic surges like fire through my veins, burning through the fog. “Please, don’t fire him.” I clasp my hand over his. He stops stroking. Our eyes meet. “My entire body hurts.”
“That’s because they beat you up, those animals. And for what.” Not a question. “They’ll fucking pay for every bruise they gave you.”
“Here.” I touch my heart. “It hurts here. Please tell me he’s safe?” My chest tightens; the panic flooding faster than I can hold it back. I can’t breathe right. My vision edges with black. “Please.”
Dad doesn’t answer my questions. He never does. He leads. Decides. And right now, I feel like crying again. I never want to stop. I want to be his little boy once more, cherished and protected. Right now, I wish I’d never grown up.
He sighs. “I didn’t know. Zachary fooled us all. I had an urgent meeting with the Board. No one knew, or so they claimed. I have my suspicions. What’s worse, he fooled me and hurt you.”
“There were others. Who were they?”
