Page 4 of Sheets & Giggles
Ashton
Running up the stairs two at a time, my thighs burn like a bitch, but the end is in sight. When I reach the landing, I lift my wrist, checking my heart rate and the calories I just burned on my mile and a half. I haven’t done too badly. This moving thing has really killed my exercise time. I’m feeling it as I force myself to get back out there. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, as my father likes to remind me. I’ve worked too hard to let my fitness slide backward at this point, so running until it burns is the way I earn my ice cream.
Slipping the key in the lock, I push my door open and hesitate for a moment, swearing I see a shadow moving beneath the door across the hall. I have a feeling my cute pink-slippered neighbor likes to watch my comings and goings. She doesn’t seem to leave the apartment often herself, or at least, she hasn’t left more than once in the week I’ve been in town—unless of course she works nights and leaves the house while I’m asleep. I don’t even know why I’m trying to figure this shit out, I guess I just thought we had a little bit of a connection the other day. And I thought maybe I’d see more of her. But so far, she’s been firmly hidden behind that door, spying on me through her peephole.
That part is a little weird, but I’m putting it down as her being interested but shy. The alternative is that she’s a crazy stalker, and I’m really hoping with the price I paid for this place, that I didn’t move in across from one of those.
“Hey, Leona,” I say, dropping my keys and phone on the table by the door. “I’ll just grab a quick shower then pay you for today.” Interesting fact about my father's ‘gift’ is that I have to pay for it. Daily.
“No problem. I’m just finishing up in the kitchen. Your dinner is in the oven,” she says, wiping down the counter. I never thought I’d be the kind of person to have a housekeeper, but I have to agree with my father for once in my life. Leona is the best not-really-a-gift he ever gave me. She’s done such a great job getting the place in order that I’ve decided to keep her on indefinitely. It's nice for me to come home and have the house clean and a meal waiting for me. At my last place, I relied heavily on take out. But now that I have Leona, I don’t even have to think about what I’m doing for dinner. It’s great.
“Thank you.”
I head into the bathroom and strip off my sweaty t-shirt before I turn the hot water on, wincing when the pipes start thumping in the wall. When I bought this place, I was told it had been unoccupied for the better part of a year. I don’t think anyone had a clue the pipes were this noisy. I don’t know what the hell is going on in there, but every time I shower, it sounds like someone in the next apartment is hanging pictures. I’ve called the super daily to get something done about it.
I’m about two minutes into my shower, covered in suds when there’s a knock at the bathroom door.
“Is everything OK?” I shut off the water and grab a towel, knowing it could only be Leona.
“There’s an angry woman here to see you,” she says, her voice muffled through the door.
“What? Why? And where from?” I step out of the shower, securing my towel around my waist before I pull the door open.
Leona steps back with a shrug. “I’ve got no clue who she is. But I’m not sticking around to find out.” She holds her hand out to me, and it takes me a second to realize she wants her money so she can book it back home to her family. She’s a young mom with two kids and a husband who works as a train driver.
“I don’t blame you,” I say, exiting the bathroom to grab my wallet. I peel off a couple of bills to hand to her. “I’ll see you Monday?”
“Sure will. Chicken curry?”
“Perfect.”
She waves the money over her head as she walks out of my bedroom, telling the woman she labeled ‘angry’ that I’ll be out soon.Just what I need.
Pulling a pair of jeans on, I grab a t-shirt and finish drying off as I walk into the living area, finding my neighbor Ellie with her lips pursed and her arms folded under her impressive tits while she taps her foot impatiently.
“Uh…hi?” I say, running my towel over my wet hair. “Leona said you’re upset about something?”
“Listen,” she starts, getting right to it. “I don’t care how many times you want to bang your little money waver there, but if youmustpump the girl as hard as you can, do you think you can move the bed away from the wall? I can’t think with all that racket.”
It takes me about two seconds to decipher what she’s talking about, but once I realize, I throw my head back and laugh.
“You’re an asshole,” she says, throwing her hands in the air and spinning on her heel.
I’m quick to react, grabbing her by the wrist before she can run away. “I’m sorry,” I howl, wiping tears from my eyes with my free hand. “It’s just…you thought…” I break into fits of laughter again and shake my head. “Oh, my god. I’ll just show you.”
“What?” She frowns as I gesture for her to follow me into my room. “I amnotgoing in there with you so you canshowme. I barely know you!”
Now I’m laughing even harder, my hand pressed against my stomach to stop it from cramping. “It’s not the bed,” I manage. “It’s the pipes.”
“The what?”
“Come.” I wave my arm, and she hesitates, so I grab her hand and pull her along with me, her curiosity getting the better of her. “See?” I release her hand as I reach into the shower, turning the hot water on so the thumping begins. Her face goes brilliant red.She’s adorable.
“Oh, my god. I thought.” Her hand goes to her mouth. “I called your girlfriend a hussy. Wait. Why were you just paying your girlfriend?” She gasps. “She’s not your girlfriend!”
“She’s also not a hooker. We’re full of assumptions today.” I’m still laughing. But then Ellie’s brow shoots up, and I’m crying again. This is insane. “Leona is my housekeeper. My happily-married-with-two-kids housekeeper. I don’t have sex with anyone.”Forehead slap moment. Way to go, champ.“I mean, Ihavesex. It’s just not happening at the moment since I just moved here and all. I’m not…erm…I’m not dating right now. And I think I should just shut up.” Now I’m the one with the red face.
“You might want to put your shirt on and do your fly up too. They’re not helping your wall banger case.”
