Page 34 of Wrong Car, Wright Guy
Fifteen
Tanner
“What are your personal thoughts on homosexuality?” Ruby asks, her voice super casual as we were getting ready to go on air.
I’ve been sipping my water while surreptitiously watching her rake her fingers through her long golden blonde hair, securing it with a hair tie before she puts her headset on. It’s something she does every single time we put our butts in these chairs. The tease before the show.
Asking random questions is also something she does. I often wonder if she’s trying to unsettle me so I’m off my game once the lights switch on. But it never works.
“As I’ve said to you before, Miss Casey.Myopinion doesn’t matter.”
She finishes tying her hair back, then folds her arms on the desk. “In this case, it really does matter. I’ve found someone for the billboard campaign, but they don’t want to do it unless I can assure them you aren’t the bigot you’re portrayed as.”
“I see.” This is the hardest part about what I do. The show gives people I’ve never met negative opinions of me. “And what do you think?”
She clasps her hands under her chin and smiles. “I see what you do firsthand, you play devil's advocate but you don’t feed hate. I take everything I thought about you originally back.”
“That’s big of you.”
“I can admit when I’m wrong.”
Terry cuts in, announcing the show is starting in ten, nine… I lift my headset.
“Wait,” Ruby says. “That didn’t precisely answer my question.”
I meet her eyes as the theme music begins to play. “I assure you, Ruby. I take no issue with the LGBTQIA plus community. You can tell your model that.” I set the headphones over my ears, ready for the intro.
“Oh, it’s not a model, Tanner. It’s my brother. My very openly gay brother. Who’s in a relationship with a drag queenandhas transgender friends. So, please,pleasecan we discuss today’s Twitter storm?”
The theme music finishes just as understanding dawns on me. So many of her topic suggestions have been LGBTQIA+ based. She wants to discuss the transgender boxer in the hope of raising awareness and understanding within the community, maybe even change someone’s perspective. And I keep shooting her down, not because I don’t want to discuss any of it, but because I’m trying to keep the range of issues we discuss varied. We can't keep circling back to the same thing or we’ll come off looking biased. But I can see she needs this win.
“Keep your personal opinion and your emotions in check,” I warn, watching her eyes light up before she nods excitedly.
“I promise.”
“I mean it. No tears on air.”
She scoffs. “I’ve got this.”
“OK. Here we go.” I hit the button to activate my mic and start the show. “Transgender and sport. There’s no denying that biologically, men and women are not equal on the playing field. In the ring, it’s considered downright dangerous to put a male fighter against a female. But what about a female against a trans-female? Or a male against trans-male? There is currently a twitter storm brewing over one trans woman’s right to fight after undergoing gender reassignment surgery. Ruby, fill us in on the details.”
When I look in her direction, a small smile teases the corner of her mouth as her chest puffs proudly. Information and statistics roll off her tongue like a well-rehearsed song. And I can see her thinking,Finally.Finally, I have a chance to make a difference…
It’s a bittersweet moment for me, because I remember those times, remember feeling as though this platform could actually spark radical change in this world. But my idealism shutdown quickly, the same way Ruby’s will after we go to the phones. She’s about to learn the same lesson I did—never discuss topics that are close to your heart.
* * *
I findher in her office after the show. “Go away, Tanner. Don’t you have a redhead to go see or something?”
“That’s Mondays and Thursdays,” I say, taking a seat next to her on the couch.
She nods slightly, folding a damp tissue over and over between her fingers. “I should have listened to you.”
“Ah, what do I know? It was a good show, and you held your own.”
“I almost cried on air.” She looks at me and holds her hands out. “How was that holding my own?”
“The fact youdidn’tcry. Discussing topics that mean something to us is always difficult. There are still some things I won’t discuss.”
