Page 57 of Wrong Car, Wright Guy
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“Hello?”After almost giving up pressing the door buzzer on Ruby’s apartment, a crackly voice I believe belongs to Tahlia comes over the intercom.
“Ah, hey. I was after Ruby,” I say, a slight waver in my voice. I’m fucking nervous.
I’ve just left the office early after spending the day with Karen’s word swimming around in my head. Part of what made me fall in love with Ruby in the beginning was that she always called me out on my shit. And I didn’t realize how much I missed it until Karen came in and did the same thing this morning. Ruby wasn’t one to mince words, and I quickly came to rely on her as somewhat of a moral compass. She was unfailingly honest at every turn, and I trusted her implicitly. I suppose that’s what made the information leak feel so deplorable. I never expected it to come from her. Never from her. So, I reacted the way I always have when someone doesn’t live up to my expectations—I fired her. From her job, from my life. And I’d be lying if I said I haven’t regretted it every day since.
“Tanner?”
I rub a hand over my head sheepishly. “Yeah.”
The door buzzes open. “Come on up.”
I really am an idiot. The moment I step into the building, everything I’ve been suppressing comes flooding back, and I miss her so much it actually hurts. There’s a heavy thudding in my head, a tense ache in my belly, and a heaviness of my body that tells me this place is where I left my heart.
When I gave it to Ruby, it was hers to keep. No takebacks. I’ve been living without it ever since I threw that magazine on the floor and exited her life.I really am an asshole.
With every step I take, the memory of that moment becomes clearer in my mind. I’ve been suppressing that hurt look in her eyes. I’ve been denying the memory of the tears rolling down her cheeks. I’ve been pushing aside the vision of the utter devastation on her face. And now I see it. I see it all clear as day. It hits me so hard that I have to stop halfway and place the heels of my hands against my eyes to keep my own emotion in check. I hurt her, I loved her—I still love her—and I took all of my anger and my fear over what could happen to Camille, and I aimed it right at her.
The saying is to cut your nose off to spite your face, but with Ruby, I cut my heart out to spite my chest. I’ve been an empty husk ever since.
“Hi Tanner,” Tahlia says, meeting me at the top of the staircase when I hit the landing. “Long time, no see.”
Frowning, it takes me a moment to swallow the lump in my throat, so I nod. “Is she here?”
“She’s at Theo's.”
“And I suppose Theo wants to give me a black eye?”
“Maybe. Darren definitely wants to scratch your eyes out, though. He's very protective of Ruby. We all are.”
“And yet, I'm still alive.” I offer her a half smile. And she gives me the tiniest of laughs. This is not a comfortable moment. I feel like I've messed everything up, thrown away the best gift at Christmas, taken something precious and shiny and left it in the rain to rust.I fucked up.
“She forbade it.”
“Do you think she’ll talk to me?”
“If you can get past her brother and the drag queen.”
“OK.” I actually manage to smile at that. “It was good to see you, Tahlia.” I nod once then turn to leave.
“That article was all my fault,” she blurts, stopping me before I get too far. “I was dumb and naïve, and I thought Nick actually liked me. But he was just using me to get information on you. I have the worst luck with men, and I’m so incredibly sorry that my poor judgement has affected you negatively twice now. And I truly hate myself for causing trouble for your sister. For you. And especially for Ruby. I really want to fix this. But I just don’t know how I can. I mean, I’ve written article after article and submitted them everywhere I can. No one wants to run it.” She rushes into her apartment for a moment then returns with a folder, handing me a heartfelt story titled, ‘I Was Used to Bring Down a Good Man’. “I posted it everywhere that accepted free submissions. I just…I wanted to tell people the real story. But they don’t seem interested.”
“Thank you,” I say, closing the folder and handing it back to her. “I appreciate this. You have no idea how much. And I want to apologize to you too. I was…irate, and I was scared, and I took it out on both you and Ruby.”
“I understand. Camille is your family. I left my job at Icon, by the way. I don’t want you to think I got a promotion out of your pain.”
“I appreciate that too. Where are you working now?” I ask, hoping she isn’t struggling due to my callousness the way Ruby is.
“BuzzFeed. Funnily enough, we’re running a sexiest man poll again soon. Your name came up.”
My mouth kicks up in a smirk. “That’ll give my father something to have a fresh coronary over.”
“I actually…” She presses her lips together and pulls another sheet of paper out of her folder. “I also wroteanotherstory. One with more guts. It’s about your father and his refusal to pay for Camille’s care. I thought—if you’re willing to let me submit it—that he should be the one paying for his own sins, not you. I mean, I know you love Camille and that it isn’t an imposition for you to make sure she’s looked after. But I think the way he’s manipulating you so you can do theright thingshould be brought to light. Maybe putting this out there could help?”
The paper shakes slightly in my grip and my breath stutters in my chest. My father owns so much of the media that I’m not sure who’d have the balls to go against him. But at the same time, I’m so tired, so fucking tired of bowing to his will just to keep paying for Camille’s care. If this all blows up, then I’ll pay for Camille out of my own pocket and take the man to court. This has to stop. It’s been going on for far too long.
“Do it,” I say, handing it back to her before I can change my mind.
