Page 15 of Cheesecake
“OK,” she says quickly, doing as I ask. The moment she’s back on, I start paddling for the shore, checking back occasionally to make sure she’s still following because as pissed as I am, I’m not a complete asshole.
“Corey!” she calls out when I hit the shallows and start walking. “Corey! I’m sorry. Can you wait?”
“No, Penny. What I need to do right now is go home, cool off, and try to figure out what’s next.”
“What do you mean?” She runs up the sand to catch me, and I stop and turn with a sigh, meeting the wide and worried eyes of the girl I’m head over heels in love with, but who I’m realizing more and more that I just can’t have without changing one of our lives completely.
“Listen, Penny. I get that you want to make your own choices about your future, but I also thought I made it very clear that I didn’t want you changing anything because of me. I love you, OK? I’m a total fucking goner for you, which is stupid considering our age difference, but we click and it feels right when I’m with you, so I’ve ignored the warnings from everyone telling me it’s a bad idea to start anything with an eighteen-year-old girl. But you didn’t seem eighteen to me, and I’ve never seen you as a kid—not until that stunt you pulled just now,” I say, pointing to the water.
She twists her mouth down and swallows hard. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? What the fuck was that, Penny? Who the fuck goes under the water and just lets themselves sink? That’s fucked. Why would you do that to me?”
“I’m sorry. I know I scared you and it wasn’t my intention. I wasn’t trying to hurt myself or you, I promise. I just…I just let the quiet surround me. I’ve been stressing out over college and the idea of being without you and...I’m just so, so sorry.”
I look at her for a long moment. I’m torn between pulling her into my arms and hugging her so tight we merge into one person, or turning around and running the other way, screaming until the pain in my lungs stops reminding me how hard it is to fall in love and then lose someone.
“I’m sorry too,” I murmur, choosing instead to just walk away because I don’t know how to do this anymore. I thought I could make this work. But I don’t think I can. Not like this…
Penny
Itry calling Corey, visiting him, I even try talking to him at the Café, but he’s been AWOL ever since our argument on the beach a week ago. I feel like I really fucked this up. Things were going so well. We were happy and in love. We spent a magical day and night together on top of what was an amazing friendship. And now it’s just…gone. He’s quite frankly the best friend I’ve ever had. And I fucked it all up. Now I miss him terribly, and there’s a hole in my heart that’s so big it feels like it might be engulfing my chest. I don’t even want to get out of bed.
“Get up.” Rob opens my bedroom door then leans against the doorway, eating popcorn out of a massive bowl. “Me and Tina are gonna watch some crappy horror movie, so you need to quit your wallowing and come watch it with us.”
“Can’t,” I say, turning away and hugging my pillow.
“Why not? Shitty horror is your favorite.”
“Not anymore.”
“Since when?”
“Since I shared my favorite movies with Corey and now he’s left me all alone.”
I hear him release a slow breath then set the popcorn down on my dressing table before moving to the side of the bed and sitting next to me. “Tina or Mom would probably be better at talking you through this heartache thing, but I’m a guy, and I know Corey. And while we don’t always see eye to eye, I do understand that he’s incredibly protective of you. He wouldn’t just take off and stop caring, that’s not his MO. If anything, the guy cares too much—probably because he worships the ground you walk on. My guess is he’s hurting and struggling to process or communicate that. What you did was pretty shitty.”
“Oh, thanks for pointing that out, brainiac. I thought I was feeling regretful because he’s not here slipping me free cheesecake anymore, not because I was an absolute moron and scared him in the one way that probably gave him PTSD.”
“You don’t give someone PTSD, snotface, they already have it and youtriggerit.” He reaches out and pulls a strand of my hair, something only a sibling can do without making you crazy.
“I know. I just…I feel like such an asshole. I wish I could talk to him, you know? But he’s not answering his phone, and as far as I can tell, he’s not even on the island anymore. I considered asking his mother where he is, but we didn’t get to the meet the parents part. That’d be kinda weird.”
“Well, I say give him some time. He’ll come back. The guy loves you—even if he is creepily older than you.” He twists his face up, and I hit him in the arm.
“It’s not creepy. It’s beautiful, and I want to spend my life with him.”
Pressing his lips into a smile, he takes my hand in his and gives it a squeeze. “Then I hope you get everything you want. I know I don’t say it a lot, but you’re a pretty great sister.”
“And you’re a great brother,” I say, sitting up and giving him a hug. It’s one of those rare tender moments in between all of the cheeky jibes and crappy comments siblings like to throw at each other. But underneath all that mess and silliness is a pure caring that can only exist when you grow up side by side.
“What in the world?” Mom’s voice floats in through the door, and we release each other to turn to her. “Is the world ending and I don’t know it?” She makes a show of moving to the window and looking outside. “There’s an asteroid coming, isn’t there? I’ve been working so much that I didn’t even see it on the news and now it’s too late.”
“Hilarious,” I say, laughing as she turns back to us.
She smiles and folds her arms across her chest. “That’s better,” she says. “You’re smiling again.”
I nod. “Turns out Rob gives a pretty good pep talk.”
