Page 6 of Cheesecake
“He’s like the Energizer bunny on crack.” He laughs as his eyes move to Billy and soften. It’s obvious he loves his son very much, but at the same time I can see the sadness in his eyes over the loss of his wife, something that really sobers my racy andselfishthoughts. It’s all there, swirling about in the blue and brown flecks—loss, pain, regret. I know instinctively that I can’t push this thing between us. While it might feel satisfying in the moment, Corey has far too much on his plate, far too much responsibility and constraints on his time. I’m lucky I get as much of him as I do. It would be cruel to push my way into his world and force him to split the limited free time he has. So, I’ll take what I can get, for as long as I can get it. And maybe one day…
“Mom’s great with him, though,” he continues, snapping me out of my thoughts. “They’ve got an understanding—he behaves, and she lets him choose what he wants to eat.” He inclines his head toward Billy who’s now lying against his grandmother and eating some sort of sandwich while he digs his feet into the sand and looks out at the surf.
“Well, they do say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. She might be on to something.”
Corey laughs before he turns back to meet my eyes and catches me taking a longing eye lick of his chest,whoops. He clears his throat, and I lift my gaze, embarrassed. “I, ah, need to get going.” He gestures to where the café is. “Today was fun. You didn’t seem to need too many surf tips, though.” He laughs, and my cheeks heat a bit. Despite being out of the water for a solid five years, I managed to stay upright more than once. “But, if I see you out here again…I’m not going to hate it.”
“Not going tohateit?” I smile, pulling at my bottom lip with my teeth to stop myself from laughing. “Dude, that kind of stings. Was that a compliment or something else entirely?”Like a standing date to surf together perhaps?
Corey cocks his head to the side and frowns. “Did you just…call me dude?”
I can’t stop the laugh this time. “I did.”
“OK. You did good today...dude.”
I laugh. “I did OK.” While I didn’t need a huge amount of help, I did still wipe out about ten times. But I was getting my legs back toward the end of it.
“See you around, Penny.” He grins like we have a special secret then starts walking up the beach, gesturing for Billy and his mom to leave with him.
“Wait,” I call out, stopping him in his tracks. He turns and gestures for me to continue. “What do I watch next?”
Looking up at the sky, he bites his lip for a moment, thinking hard before he lights up, obviously having my answer. “Goonies.”
“OK.” My heart pitter-patters and I smile, watching him meet up with his son and his mother, who says something to him then looks at me disapprovingly. Corey just shakes his head and keeps his focus on his son. But her reaction to seeing us together serves as yet another reminder that Corey and I might feel great when we’re together, but the rest of the world…it doesn’t understand. All they see are two people who don’t fit. And at the end of the day, I think they’re probably right.
Corey
“Everything OK with you?” I ask Penny as she walks ahead of me out of the water. We’ve been surfing every morning together for almost a week now, but ever since that first day, I feel like she’s somehow pulling away from me. She’s come to the café maybe once for a slice of cheesecake, and even then, she ate it outside while reading a book. I’m worried she feels rejected by me after I admitted there was a tension between us then dismissed it by saying we should just surf instead of addressing it. Not that I’m sure what good it would have done, I still can’t have her even if wedoaddress the big tense elephant sucking up all the air on the island.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” She stops and turns to face me with a shrug.
“I don’t know,” I sigh as I run a hand over my wet hair and wring it out. “I just feel like I don’t get to see you anymore.”
“You see me every day,” she says with a laugh, gesturing to the fact that she’s standing right in front of me.
“Not the way I used to,” I say, moving a little closer. I have a great urge to take her hand, but I don’t. “I’m concerned that maybe I…” I struggle to find the words to give voice to this feeling. I know what it is. But saying it out loud is a huge risk that feels so heavily weighted toward failure that I just can’t make the sound pass my lips. I haven’t been attracted to a woman since my late wife passed in a boating accident when Billy was eighteen months old. I’d been so busy mourning and just trying to keep going that I didn’t even notice other women, nor did I care that they existed. But then one day not so long ago, something inside me clicked, and there was Penny, so young, beautiful, and perfect. I realized that I wanted her. I wanted her in a way I’ve never wanted anything before her, and ever since that moment, I’ve been torturing myself with every reason why I can’t have her. Never daring to entertain the reasons Icouldhave her. “You just don’t come to the café as often anymore. The cheesecake is going to waste, you know.” I smirk slightly, hoping that covered my verbal flailing, and I’m rewarded when a smile teases the edge of her mouth.
“Well, thatisa tragedy. I’ll have to remedy that immediately.”
“OK.” My smirk turns into a full-blown smile. “Any maybe…don’t bring a book this time? I’ve missed talking to you.”
She sucks in a breath and nods. “I’m sorry, Corey. I’ve just been trying to get my head on straight. It’s not because of you.”
“Yes, it is,” I say, watching the way her eyes flicker like she’ll cry at any moment if I push this too hard. “And I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know what to do withthis.” I hold my hand to my chest, clenched like I’m trying to mime the feeling so she’ll understand it without words. When she nods, I feel sure that she does.
“Sure you do,” she practically whispers. “We surf, we eat cheesecake, and we trade movie recommendations. And then one day you’ll be surfing in the morning, and the sun will rise, and I’ll be a little older, you’ll be a little less conflicted, and everything”—she reaches out and takes my hand—“will be just a little bit different.”
“Penny,” I rasp, wrapping my fingers around hers so she doesn’t pull away again. “What if…” I close my eyes and try to fight it but I just can’t. “What if I don’t want to wait for that day?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
I drop my board and wrap my free hand around the back of her head. “I want today’s sunrise to be that day,” I say, bringing my mouth to hers in a collision of lips and teeth that’s both passionate and brutal. Her board falls, and her arms wrap around my neck while she responds with clumsy but sensuous movement.
She tastes like mint and salt, and I’ve never thought those flavors should work together, but on her, they do. I can’t get enough. I can barely breathe, but still, I can’t stop. I need to kiss hermorethan I need air, months upon months of pining and wanting, all culminating in this moment where finally, it feels like she’s mine.
Now I just have to figure out how to keep her.
Penny
