Page 46 of Unbound
But more than that—the way he'd absorbed the legal arguments, asked brilliant questions, slowly let his intellectual curiosity override his programming. And that moment when he'd told me about archaeology, his voice barely a whisper, like he was confessing something sacred.
The house was buzzing with its usual evening energy when I walked through the front door. Phoenix was sprawled upside down on the couch, rainbow hair brushing the floor, while Elijah sat cross-legged on the rug with textbooks spread around him like some kind of academic séance.
"How did it go?" Diana looked up from her laptop, concern and curiosity mingling in her expression.
I dropped my backpack and grabbed a Dr Pepper from the kitchen, buying time to figure out how to explain what I'd just experienced.
"Good," I said finally, settling into my usual spot. "Better than good, actually."
"Define 'better than good,'" Sam said from the kitchen doorway, studying me with those sharp eyes that missed nothing.
I thought about Jesse's face when he'd realized the constitutional arguments for marriage equality were stronger than he'd expected. The mixture of intellectual excitement and existential terror, like someone discovering their entire worldview was built on sand.
"He's brilliant," I said. "When he lets himself think freely, when he stops censoring every thought against what he was taught—he's absolutely brilliant."
Phoenix flipped right-side up with practiced grace. "And how do you feel about that?"
The question hung in the air, loaded with implications I wasn't ready to face. I felt the weight of their eyes on me, probing and questioning. The truth hung between us, shimmering with unspoken implications.
"Look, there's more at stake here than just a pretty face and a game," I said, trying to steady my voice. "I didn't choose to get involved with Jesse just because he's a challenge or because I thought I could just get in his pants."
"Really? Because it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of that," Elijah countered, arms crossed. "You've been pulling all the strings, Adrian. It's like watching someone think he's playing with fire without realizing he's already been burned."
Phoenix sat up completely, studying me with those sharp eyes that missed nothing. "Wait, hold up. Are you actually catching feelings? Like, real feelings? Not just 'I want to hook up' feelings?"
"Fine!" I shot back, surprising myself with the force of my admission. "I'm into him, okay? I care about Jesse. I care about what he thinks and how he feels. I can't help it. The more I see him letting down those walls, the more I want to help him break free from everything he's been taught."
"Oh my God," Phoenix breathed, their hand flying to their chest in theatrical shock. "Adrian Costas is growing out of his man-whore phase. I never thought I'd see the day."
"Shut up," I muttered, but I could feel heat creeping up my neck.
Diana raised an eyebrow, a bemused smile creeping across her face. "And here we thought you were just interested in turning him into your latest conquest."
"He's not a conquest!" I protested, though the heat in my cheeks betrayed my embarrassment. "He's..."
"Real?" Sam interjected, tilting their head. "Someone who deserves authenticity? You're actually looking for more than just a fling?"
"Exactly," I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "That's what I've been trying to get across. This isn't about sex for me. Not anymore. It's about more than that. It's about him being who he really is. And maybe... maybe I'm tired of casual hookups too. Maybe I want something that actually means something."
Phoenix grinned wickedly. "Look at you, wanting emotional intimacy and everything. What's next? Couple's therapy and joint bank accounts?"
"I just don't want to break him," I said, ignoring Phoenix's teasing. "Not while he's learning who he truly is. I want him to make that choice and find his own way without me pushing him into it."
Elijah nodded slowly. "And that's growth. But you need to be careful. Feelings are messy. Once they're involved, things can get complicated."
"Trust me, I'm learning that the hard way." The frustration bubbled beneath the surface. "It's like I see this incredible person emerging—someone who's been suppressed his whole life. And if I push too hard, if he ends up hating me for ruining the only life he's ever known..."
Jamie leaned in from her spot by the window, resting her chin on her hand. "But maybe loving him is also about letting him choose his path, one he can be proud of. You can't protect him from everything."
The truth of that hit me squarely in the chest. "I just want to be there for him," I said quietly, feeling a swell of tenderness. "To show him that there's more to life than what his family and church have imposed on him."
"Then show him, Adrian. But don't forget to be honest about your own feelings. Hiding them can complicate everything," Diana suggested.
"I can't just throw that at him and expect him to catch it without being ready," I said. "I owe him that much after everything."
"See? Growth," Sam conceded with a small smile. "You're actually thinking about someone else's emotional well-being before your own gratification."
"Don't push it," I warned, but I could feel a grin breaking through my serious facade. Their teasing reminded me that I was in uncharted territory now—a place where vulnerability and genuine feelings mattered more than conquest or games.
