Page 61 of Unbound
"You knew," I realized. "You've known all along."
"Of course I knew. I've known Jesse since we were five years old, Adrian. I watched them break him when we were kids. I watched him come back hollow and scared and desperate to be perfect." Her voice turned bitter. "I've been watching him suffer in silence for years."
The accusation hit me like a physical blow. "Then why didn't you—why didn't either of you—"
"Because I've been trying to protect him," she said simply. "Jesse doesn't know this, but our parents have been planning our marriage since we were children. Perfect church families, perfect children, perfect union. And I was happy to go along with it."
I stared at her, trying to process this. "Even knowing he's gay?"
"Especially knowing he's gay." Her voice broke. "I thought—I thought if I married him, I could protect him. Give him a life where no one would question his sexuality. Where he could be safe, even if he couldn't be happy."
"Rebecca—"
"I've been in love with him since we were kids, Adrian. Not romantically, but I love him. He's my best friend, my family, the kindest person I've ever known. And I was willing to sacrifice my chance at real love if it meant keeping him safe from his parents, from the church, from all of it."
The weight of her confession hit me like a freight train. She'd been planning to sacrifice her entire life for him.
"Jesse doesn't know any of this," she continued. "He thinks our relationship is what his parents want, what God wants. He has no idea that I chose it. That I chose him, knowing exactly what I was giving up."
"And now?"
"Now you've ruined everything." Her voice rose, drawing stares from the remaining students in the auditorium. "He can't hide anymore. He can't pretend. And I can't protect him because you made him forget himself in front of the worst possible audience."
She was right. God, she was completely right.
"Do you have any idea what they'll do to him now?" Rebecca continued. "He's not fourteen anymore—they can't just ship him off quietly. This was public. Everyone saw it. His father's reputation, the church's reputation, it's all tied up in Jesse being their success story."
"So what will they do?"
"Make an example of him." Her voice was flat, defeated. "Prove that even their greatest success can fall to temptation if they're not vigilant. They'll say the liberal university corrupted him, that being away from their guidance made him vulnerable."
She paused, studying my face.
"They'll send him back. To the same place, the same people who 'fixed' him before. Except this time it won't be quiet. This time it'll be a public demonstration of their commitment to their beliefs."
My legs nearly gave out. "They can't—he's an adult—"
"He's financially dependent on them. Completely. His tuition, his housing, his food—everything comes from them. And if he doesn't go willingly..." She didn't need to finish.
They'd cut him off. Leave him with nothing. Make sure everyone knew that this was what happened when you chose sin over salvation.
"You really thought this was just about helping a repressed kid find himself, didn't you?" Rebecca said, something shifting in her expression.
"I thought—" My voice cracked. "I thought maybe if he knew someone could love him for who he really is, he'd find the courage to choose himself."
"Well, congratulations." She turned to go, then paused, looking back at me over her shoulder. "You got what you wanted. Jesse Miller just chose himself in the most public way possible."
Her voice broke on the last words.
"I just hope he survives what comes next. Because I can't protect him anymore."
Then she was gone, pushing through the crowd after Jesse, leaving me standing there with the horrible understanding of what I'd really done.
I hadn't just outed their success story.
I'd destroyed the one protection he had. The one person who was willing to sacrifice everything to keep him safe.
And now he was completely alone.
