Page 20 of Unbound
"How else would I say it?" But Phoenix was fighting a smile. "What did you buy?"
I showed them the order confirmation. They scrolled through, eyebrows climbing higher with each item.
"These are nice," they admitted. "Like, really nice. Did you take out a loan?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny this allegation, I plead the Fifth."
"You spent two hundred dollars on underwear for a guy who's currently pretending you don't exist."
"Yep."
Phoenix studied me for a long moment. "You're really doing this. The full court press."
"I'm giving him options," I corrected. "What he does with them is up to him."
"Uh-huh. And if he wears them?"
"Then he wears them."
"And if he doesn't?"
I shrugged, trying for casual and probably failing. "Then he doesn't."
Phoenix flopped backward on their bed with a dramatic sigh. "You're already in love with him, aren't you?"
"I'm not—" I stopped. Shit. "I'm interested."
"You spent two hundred dollars."
"I have disposable income."
"You bought himfour pairs. With a gift note."
"It's not—" I sat down on the edge of their bed. "Fine. Maybe I'm more invested in all this than I had initially planned to be. But come on. If you'd have seen him at the coffee shop you'd know the guy is drowning, Phoenix. And he doesn't even know he's underwater."
Phoenix sat up, their expression softening suddenly serious. "I know. And I know you want to help him. But babes, you can't save everyone."
"I'm not trying to save him."
"Then what are you trying to do?"
I thought about Jesse's face in the bar bathroom. In the coffee shop. The way he looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language when I suggested he might want something for himself.
"I'm trying to give him permission," I said quietly. "To want. To choose. To exist outside of what they've told him he has to be."
"With underwear."
"I have to start somewhere, don't I?"
Phoenix laughed, shaking their head. "You're absolutely ridiculous. You know that, right?"
"Been told that before."
"When are you giving them to him?"
"Thinking Wednesday when they arrive. Student union. Public enough that he can't freak out too badly."
"He's going to die."
