Page 6 of Puck the Halls
Okay, that sounded like I’m feeling sorry for myself.
Fuck that. That’s not my vibe.
I have three days solo in a house that can do just about anything short of jerking me off.
Maybe it can even do that for all I know.
But I wouldn’t do it because boundaries.
This is still Bossman’s house.
Even though he told me he’s turned the interior cameras off I still have a job to do and I don’t want to let him down. He’s trusted me to keep the house occupied and intact.
There’s been some break-ins in the neighborhood recently and Nathan doesn’t want his home sanctuary violated.
This is a family house. Nathan and his girl, Danielle, and Crew McNeill and Dr. Hughes are raising a couple of babies here and that shit is sacred.
Got to keep the house safe.
“But first, let’s see what’s in the fridge.” I tell Google to turn on the kitchen lights as I move into the kitchen.
“Okay. Ambient or overhead?” the voice asks from the tablet.
I don’t know what ambient means so I say, “Overhead.”
“Sure.”
The lights come on.
“Whoa. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, Wade.”
That’s a little…weird. Bitch knows my name.
“Play Christmas music.”
Might as well set the mood.
“Okay. Traditional or contemporary?”
“Traditional.” I don’t need like Olivia Rodriguez singing a Christmas song or anything. She’s an angry hot girl and I don’t want to think about girls.
White Christmasstarts playing.
“That’s what I’m talking about.”
The fridge is double a normal-sized fridge. It’s organized like someone has control issues.
I’m guessing that’s Nathan’s doing.
Everything is label forward, in little pull out drawers, in food groups like it’s a store instead of a house. There is a whole freezer drawer that has nothing but ice cream and frozen dessert bars. There’s a sticky note on a lid of chocolate chunk that says, “Crew’s. Don’t touch, old man.”
On the fruit bars there is a much more extensive note that says, “Do not eat the children’s fruit bars unless you put them on the delivery order. Signed, the man who pays the grocery bill.”
I guess McNeill and Bossman have a freezer flame war going on.
I end up making myself nachos with shredded cheese, olives, onions, and guacamole. I add fresh cilantro and feel pretty content as I sit at the kitchen island and tell my Google friend to put on the Racketeers hockey game on the kitchen TV. The gameis already over but I managed to avoid seeing the score and I want to watch it from the beginning.
