Page 89 of The Saviors: Part One
“I’m sorry. We thought what we were doing was right. If we would have known what would have happened—”
“No!” I take a deep breath, trying to rein in my temper. “No. You don’t get to say that. That was on me. I was looking for anything to fix this huge hole in my heart. I fell into the arms of a fucking monster. You don’tdeserveto feel the guilt for that. Because, the truth of the matter, Cole? It wouldn’t have happened if you would have taken me with you. You and Axel broke something in me that night when you left. It was like losing a piece of my soul.” I have tears rolling down my face, helpless to stop them. I angrily wipe them away.
“I wanted to contact you, but Axel—”
“No, you don’t get to blame it on him. I can only imagine you felt some sort of obligation to him for what he did, but you’re still your own person. Now is the time to stop making excuses for your own shitty decisions.”
“I did look you up! You were married!”
“So fucking what. We were best friends. You didn’t think you could reach out? Of course not. Because neither of you did. You left me here with no contact. I didn’t even know if you were alive.”
“I know. I wish I would have now because I could have gotten you out of—”
“Goddamnit, Cole,” I grit out. “What ifs aren’t doing shit right now. I got married, I got the shit beat out of me, I got tortured, and he left me to die in a pool of blood. Is that what you want to fucking hear? I want to blame you so bad, but I know that it’s all on me for letting him in after what you guys did. You could have come back for me after you got rid of Charlie. But you didn’t. I can’t keep going back and forth with this. I either have to forgive you or tell you to get the hell out of my house.”
The look he gives me breaks my heart in two. I know he truly regrets what happened. I have a decision to make. I’m either going to keep dwelling on it, or I need to forgive him and let it go. I need to do it with Axel too. But something tells me this conversation won’t be as easy with him. We always did argue, and it would lead to us not talking for a few days. But we always made up and let the argument go. This isn’t going to be as easy.
I look Cole dead in his pretty eyes and make a decision. “I forgive you. I need to come to terms with the fact that what happened with Brady is my fault. I could have used the resources you guys gave me to leave, and I didn’t.”
“Chels,” Cole says hoarsely, and I raise a hand.
“It’s the way it is. It’s in the past, and that’s where it needs to stay. But I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything,” he says immediately. He might regret that decision.
“I need you to leave Brady alone.”
He rears back in shock. “What the fuck for? Chelsea, he doesn’t deserve to live after what he did to you.”
“And I don’t deserve to live with his death on my conscience. Those are my terms.”
I watch Cole take all that in before he finally nods, even though he doesn’t seem happy about it. “I won’t actively seek Brady out.” I don’t miss how he worded that, but I’m going to let it go. I can only ask so much from a bunch of mercenaries.
“There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.” He raises a brow. “Sean told me about you guys last night.”
Cole’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “He did?”
“He didn’t tell me to begin with because your sexuality is yours to tell, but he felt if I was going to be around both of you, then I needed to know. Why didn’t you tell me that when we were younger?”
Cole shrugs. “I was scared to death of Dad finding out, and I didn’t want you or Axel to see me differently.”
“Does Axel know now?”
“Yeah. He might have walked in on me and Sean.”
I laugh, imagining the look on Axel’s face. “What did he say?”
“Nothing, really. He was just hurt that I didn’t tell him when I knew for sure.” Cole smiles. “Sean gave me the freedom to be who I wanted to be.”
“Are you gay?” I ask gently. I remember the kiss on the Ferris wheel the night of the fair, and he was into it.
“No. I’m pansexual.”
“Oh. That’s cool.”
He laughs. “That’s cool? That’s all you have to say?”
“What do you want me to say? I’m okay with Kai and Sean. Stuff like that doesn’t bother me. Everyone deserves to be happy, no matter who it’s with.”
