Page 95 of The Saviors: Part One
Chelsea
Why can’t I keep my emotions in check around Axel? One second we’re having a good time, and the next, I’m plastered against his body, remembering the past. And with that comes everything that happened the fateful night he left and what I went through after. I know it’s not his fault, but some of that bitterness creeps up on me at the wrong time.
Now, here I am, locked in my room, pacing a hole in the floor, tears rolling down my face. I can’t stop, and there’s no use in even trying to wipe them away.
“Gorgeous,” Sean says softly on the other side of the door. “Please let me in.”
I shake my head even though he can’t see me. I can’t. He can’t see me like this, not over Axel.
My breathing speeds up; my vision starts to tunnel. I know what’s about to happen. I haven’t had a panic attack in a while, but with all the changes in my normal routine, then rehashing the past with Cole and everything with Axel, my nerves are frayed. I had them all the time when I was younger, and they got even worse after Brady.
I sit heavily on the floor and put my head between my knees. It’s not helping. Why isn’t it helping? I’m doing everything that I’m supposed to do.
“You can’t do shit right, you stupid fat bitch!” Brady yells. He’s so close spit is flying on my face, but I don’t dare wipe it off.
No! This isn’t real. He isn’t here.
“You will never get rid of me now,” Brady laughs the minute he puts the ring on my finger.
Oh god. Please no. I can’t do this. I can’t do this!
“What the fuck is this?” Brady asks after I pull dinner from the oven.
“Lasagna,” I answer him gently. I know if I raise my voice even in the slightest, he’ll hit me.
“Are you getting an attitude with me?” he asks in a deadly tone.
I shake my head no.
“ANSWER ME!” he bellows.
“No,” I whisper.
Why didn’t I fight him back? Fight back!
“Because you’re a useless fat cunt.”
“….lsea! Fuck. Gorgeous? Please answer me.”
“You don’t deserve my real love. Not until you learn how to act.”
“…don’t know what’s wrong!”
“Calm down, man. She’s having a panic attack.”
“Shut the fuck up! Your crying is annoying.”
“…Chelsea.”
That voice is different. But I can’t focus.
“Because you’re fucking stupid.”
“…breathe, Cupcake, you have to breathe.” I feel fingers brush my tears away. “Breathe in and out.” I do what the voice is telling me to do. Something about the voice is familiar, but I can’t place it. “Good. Keep going. Breathe in. Breathe out.”
I finally pull in a big breath, and my eyes come back into focus. I’m out of the house with Brady, and I’m looking into Axel’s dark eyes.
“There she is,” he says with a soft smile. He looks behind him. “Get her some water and a cool washcloth.” I look to see who he’s talking to and see Sean disappear around the corner. I check my surroundings, and at some point, I scooted myself into the corner beside my closet. The last thing I remember is sitting on the floor ten feet away.
