I sit back in the chair, looking out over the backyard, thinking about what my life has led me to.
Cole and I made a plan during our freshman year in high school. Graduate and get the fuck out of Forest Grove, but at that time, it involved another person. Thinking about her always makes my heart twist in a painful way. When we left her behind, we didn’t have a choice. My main goal at that time was to protect Cole and her; our staying or taking her with us put her in even more danger. So, the day after our graduation, we bailed and never looked back.
“Do you think she’s happy?” Cole asks quietly. Everything in me wants to snap his head off for bringing her up, but I can’t say shit since I was just thinking about her.
“Yeah. She probably forgot all about us.”
Cole turns to me with narrowed eyes. “We grew up together. That’s bullshit, and you know it. You just want to make yourself feel better.”
“I’m not having this goddamn argument with you again. We did what we had to do.”
“Did we? Or are you just telling yourself that so you don’t feel like a fucking asshole?” We’ve had this conversation more times than I can count. Cole thinks we fucked up by leaving her, and I don’t. The threats Charlie made about her gave us no option but to leave. “We could have taken her with us.”
“And then what, Cole?” I ask, getting pissed off. “Drag her around the fucking world while we’re out murdering people? Take her on a bank heist? Sneak her in to steal information? Come on, man. Get your shit together.”
“Fuck you,” Cole barks. “Do you even give a fuck about her anymore?”
More than you’ll ever know.“I can’t afford to care.”
Cole laughs, but it’s without humor. “I always knew you were an asshole, but I didn’t realize how much until now.” He gets up from the chair and heads toward the house, slamming the back door behind him.
What he doesn’t know is I kept track of her until she got married. The day I saw that announcement in the paper is the day that I stopped watching her every move. I still can’t believe she married that prick from high school, but she looked happy, so I left it alone even if I was making plans to come back for her before that.
I shake all thoughts about the past from my head and go inside to find the rest of my team. We have a job tonight that we can’t afford to fuck up. I call everyone to the office and take my spot at the head of the table. Kai takes his seat to my left without a word, just like he always does. Cole is to my right, and Sean is beside him, both of whom still look pissed at me.
I flip on the big screen that has the plans that Nolan dug up on it. I never thought when we snatched him from his grandparent’s house that he would become such an invaluable part of the team. He went into the Savior training program and exceeded every one of my expectations, so I pulled him out and kept him close to our sides. The little shit has grown on me, even though I have to drag him off his computer to get fresh air sometimes. We haven’t taken him on the big jobs yet. I feel better when he stays with Ari while we’re gone.
“What’s your plan, Sean?” I ask.
“The ventilation system. I have access through the roof, and it will lead me straight to the office that we need with the hard drive.” Through all my years with the Saviors, I’ve never seen someone do the shit that Sean can do; that’s how he got the name Shadow. I’m one of the best, and he can still sneak up on me. “It’ll take me five minutes, tops.”
“It’s probably rigged with silent alarms.”
Sean gives me a dry look. “I know, and that’s not an issue.”
“You can’t get fucking caught.”
Sean takes a deep breath, fighting the temper that I know is there. “I know.”
“If he catches you…”
“He’s not going to fucking catch me! Jesus Christ, give me some damn credit, Axel. I can get the hard drive with no problem. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine.”
“You’re getting cocky,” I say between clenched teeth.
“And you’re being an uptight douchebag. I know what I’m capable of. Maybe one day you’ll see it too.” He storms from the room with Cole right on his heels.
“You know he can do this,” Kai rasps. “Why are you questioning him so much?”
“Because he can’t fuck this up.”
“If you can’t trust your team, who can you trust?”
“I do trust you guys.”
Kai shakes his head. “It doesn’t seem that way. We’ve never had issues before. You’re letting him cloud your judgment.” I want to get pissed, but when Kai has something to say, you listen.
“I don’t know how to turn it off,” I admit.