Page 76 of The Saviors: Part Two
“What am I missing?” Nolan asks.
Sean cracks up laughing. “London is where Axel caught Cole fucking me for the first time.”
“Ohhhhh,” Nolan says, his cheeks turning red.
“We quit hiding so much after that.”
Sean looks up at me. “I did. You went further into the closet for a while.”
“What does that mean?”
Sean shrugs. “It means that you cut me off cold right after that until you needed me again.”
I frown. “You make it sound like I was using you.”
“You were.” I take in the seriousness of Sean’s words, and my heart sinks. “You wanted my body. You didn’t want what else I could have given you.”
“That’s not true.”
“I think we’ll leave you to this,” Axel says, going to stand up.
“No. Stay.” Sean sits up on the couch and levels me with a look. “As soon as Axel found out, it’s almost like you were ashamed of who you were even after how hard you tried to work through it. Then when you needed a quick fuck again, you were back to me.”
“Because that was our deal.”
“It was your deal, not mine. I wanted more with you, but you never saw it even though it was staring you right in your face.”
“What are you saying?”
“I was in love with you, dumbass. You didn’t notice that during our time together, I didn’t go after anyone else? That I would wait like a fool until you came crawling back to me? I understand why now, but it fucking sucked then.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’m so fucking sorry, Sean.”
“Don’t be. It happens. But I’m sick of pretending that all we had was sex. Life is too short for that shit. I just wanted to get it out in the open so we didn’t have any more secrets and so we can move forward. I loved you. Axel loved you and Chelsea. You just floated around fucking oblivious to that fact. I’ve been with her and fallen in love with her, so I know why you didn’t feel the same way. I just don’t want to hide behind false pretenses anymore.”
I immediately feel like shit. Sean goes to stand up, and I grab his arm to stop him. “I loved you too. I just didn’t know what to do with that because I thought all you wanted was a fun time.”
“Like I said, we blinded ourselves with lies. From this point forward, we need to be honest with each other, for ourselves and Chelsea. We all intend to be with her until our last dying breath. We can’t fuck that up because we can’t man up and talk about our feelings.”
“I agree,” Axel says, surprising me. “We hid what we felt for Chelsea and lost out on six years with her.”
“We hid what we felt for each other, too,” I admit and watch the surprise run across Axel’s face. “You weren’t the only one being torn between two people.”
Axel leans his head back on the chair with a sigh. “We fucked up a lot back then.”
“I don’t see it that way,” Kai cuts in. “You did what you thought was right, then got the Saviors away from Charlie. You were eighteen fucking years old. Chels forgave you. Now it’s time to forgive yourselves.”
“He’s right,” Sean agrees. “What about you, Kai? Were you harboring any feelings for anyone?”
Kai snorts. “I couldn’t even love myself, much less anyone else.”
“Now look at you being all loving and shit,” Sean jokes, then looks at Nolan. “What about you, Sexy?”
Nolan shrugs uncomfortably. “I pretty much had a crush on Axel from the beginning.”
“Just Axel?” Sean grabs his heart and falls back into my lap. “I’m hurt.”
“He was unattainable,” Nolan says, flipping Sean off. “It was safer that way because I thought I could never act on it.”
