Page 53 of A Loser by Christmas
We set the egg on top of the candler. Both of us press the button. The cabin fills with more gold than ever, and with a second shade I hadn’t expected.
A rosy red stains Calum.
What grows inside the egg is the cause of all that blushing, I think. Internal veins supplied by a living heartbeat. Or by magic. “That’s a good sign, oui?”
“Yeah,” he breathes. His eyes are damp, but so are mine, so I guess he’s as relieved as me. His frown returns in an instant, and Calum gets busy with his phone. “At least I’m pretty sure Mum said so.” He types a message, and his mother must be an early riser to reply at just after six in the morning. Calum speaks quietly, like he doesn’t want to wake our sleeping beauty.
“Yeah, she says it’s doing perfectly. Hold on. She’s sent a link.” His screen fills with confirmation that my stowaway is on track.
“It should hatch sometime between Christmas and the New Year.” He looks up. “If it’s any later, I’ll probably be long gone, but if this chart is right, at least I might get to see?—”
“Movement! Look!”
Calum gets to witness real proof of life, and I hope to fuck the camera mounted by the incubator captures his wonder. His delight. I’m still smiling when more messages appear on the phone screen between us.
Mum:He kept it alive for almost a week without an incubator?
Mum:Tell Valentin that makes him my hero.
Mum:I could hug him so hard. What a good boy!
Perhaps I was wrong about her being a mother lion. The emojis following her final message suggest thatmother henfits her better. A long line of red hearts extends, and I know I must have started my days with a mother’s love once.
Iknowit. My grand-mère told me.
I just don’t remember.
Today feels like a first. Another gift, which gets me off my bunk in a hurry, although not to press submit on a contest entry. I settle the egg back into its nest, then I pull down blankets that Calum has pulled up for me so often.
“Get in.”
He’ll soon need to head across the river. I’ve got unsold speedboats to return to a boatyard.
Both can wait until I’ve thanked Calum for my early presents.
16
I start with a kiss,and I can’t say that’s easy to do while smiling, but Calum makes me so happy I can’t help it. My tongue slides where we fit so well together, my arms locked around his neck, and I’ve lost count of how often we’ve done this.
Today I lose track of time completely.
We kiss for so long that I’m out of breath when I finallybreak off and see something else I’ve lost count of.
How often has Calum stripped bare in this cabin? It doesn’t matter, I’m still not tired of this view, even if watching him get naked makes me clumsy. He steadies me so I don’t stumble. He also saves one of the best Christmas gifts I’ve ever been given by catching the egg candler before it can hit the floor and shatter into pieces. Nothing will save me from the same outcome if he keeps looking at me like I deserve each heart his mother sent me.
I don’t know how that line of emojis left the screen of his phone to wrap my ribs this tightly. All I know is that my chest aches at his low-pitched order. “Careful.”
I said the same thing to him the last time we were on our way to getting sexual. That warning was to save him from crushinga bauble in his pocket. It’s too late for him to give me the same instruction.
I can’t be careful around him. Won’t even try. I’ve got no chill for this Trelawney. No limits and zero boundaries. All I want is more time than he has left in London. Fuck one more week. Or even the rest of December. Twelve more months could topple one after another and it still wouldn’t be enough.
I don’t know when that happened.
Can’t make myself care either if it was when he first held that egg up between his thumb and finger or if it was when he kept going back for one more hug with Penny. Maybe it started in a bathroom hallway where we sealed a hopeless deal under green leaves and white berries. I’m pretty sure it solidified on the last ice rink a little girl might ever get to see clearly enough to skate on.
All that really matters is that he undresses for me in a cabin that was cold before he made it warm and cosy. And that’s where he pauses, his eyebrows rising in a silent challenge.
Your turn, Juno.
