Page 27 of Capturing Ava
10
IWONDER
AVA
I wake up with the light streaming through the window and his arms are still wrapped around my body. I wake up feeling contented and safe. This is the first time in a long time I’ve felt safe.
I knew as soon as I had met him it was dangerous having this man so close, but the stalker had ceased to terrorize me since Chase had been here and I no longer had to live in fear.
The way he had touched my body and pushed the desire to course through my body, I could still feel the tremors that had coursed through my body, I had felt nothing like it before and when he had gripped my throat and I could breathe at first; I was afraid. Afraid that I would die, afraid that he could make me pass out and do whatever he wanted to my unconscious body, but the thing that surprised me more was that fear slipped away and all that was left was—nothing.
There were no thoughts. It was empty. All of my worries, everything that had plagued me it just fell away. It’s like he knew how to reset my brain and he did it because he wanted to release me from the chains that had bound me to the prison. Something trapped me inside.
He could have left, but he was still there. I to turn in his arms to face him and I’m looking back at that bloody ridiculous mask. It was the strangest sex I had ever had, but didn’t I want the fantasy? Yeah, it was all about the fantasy. Still, I was curious who was under there. Maybe he was hideous, and that’s why he hid his face. I didn’t believe his excuses of trust because what the hell was that? I didn’t know faces amounted to trust, but maybe they did. Looking into someone’s eyes can tell you more about a person than words ever could.
Maybe it was so exciting because it was like a fantasy. Me not knowing who hid behind the mask, but could I continue whatever the hell had happened here without seeing his face? I shake my head. I knew I couldn’t do that. Every day with him, the temptation had grown, and I just had to know who he was, what he looked like. I had to know why he hid under that ridiculous mask. He had been here for months and he had never taken off that damn mask.
What if I didn’t like what I saw once I revealed his face? Then what? Then would I be back to feeling unsafe and alone with my stalker? Speaking of my stalker, it was strange, the drawing he had left. Once I picked it up, I was sure I would feel fear knowing he had once again invaded my space and watched me while I slept, but I didn’t. I was humbled by his gesture. I knew he was dangerous. The heart in the box had shown me what he was capable of, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t hurt me. I’m not sure why, but once his gifts stopped, I’m ashamed to say that I miss them.
I shouldn’t miss them. Hadn’t I hoped and prayed that he would just go away and leave me alone? So why did I miss his presence? Maybe it was the fact that he was so infatuated with me he left a piece of himself behind. A token of the person he was underneath, all the stalking and skulking. There was a man who had displayed a weird way to show me he was here.
I had been alone so long that when he had appeared out of nowhere that the fear had clawed its way through my body and now he was gone, just like I had wanted, but I missed his presence. Sure, I felt safe, but when he was around as scared as I felt, it was the first time I ever felt alive. The adrenaline rush to get away from him had made me feel alive, and now I was back to nothing. Feeling nothing. Just existing.
I should be grateful, but I wasn’t. I had had no one to care about me the way the shadow man had cared, and then Chase appeared and he disappeared. Was it the mask or the bodyguard? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I would never discover the identity of the man infatuated with me, but at least I would have little remnants that he left behind.
I sigh as I look at the skeleton mask I’m now facing. Well, moment of truth. I’m about to see the man behind the mask. My hand shakes as I move towards his face. Reaching my hand at the bottom of his mask once more, I pull the bottom of the mask and gasp as I feel his hand once more grip my wrist.
“You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
I sigh in frustration. “Are you hideous under there?”
“Yes, Ava, my face is all mangled.” He grits out.
“Really?” I ask with surprise.
“No, not really.” He chuckled, “What is the obsession with seeing my face?”
“Well,” my eyes dart around the round. “I’m just curious, I guess.”
“Curious?”
“Yes, you’ve seen me. Why can’t I see you?”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“Chase, you fucked me yesterday and you still don’t trust me?” I gasp.
He flips me onto my back, holding my wrists above my head. “No, Ava, I don’t trust you. I never will.” He utters.
“Never?” I gasp. “I have done nothing to cause you not to trust me.”
“Ava, don’t push me.”
“Or what?” I scowl at him.
“Keep going and you’ll find out.”
“Just show me who you are,” I scream. “How am I supposed to trust you when you won’t even show me your fucking face?” The rage runs through my body at an alarming rate. “I let you into my home and you can’t even show me your face. You fucking Coward.” I spit at him.
