Page 41 of Capturing Ava
“Fuck no,” My brows furrow. “Rats, can’t stand them.” He shudders.
“Me neither,” I whisper.
“Anyway, tunnels are the fastest way to move around the city without getting seen. I was down there minding my own business when this little fire starter was planting TBIEDs.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Tunnel-borne improvised explosive device.” Miles smirks.
“Why were you blowing up a tunnel?”
“Fun,” He laughs.
“Anyway, I was livid when I stumbled upon his little artistry because if he blew up this specific tunnel, then I would have no way of getting through the city underground. Found out he was an orphan so I took him home. Everyone loved him.” Chase announced like that wasn’t the sweetest thing I had ever heard.
“You’ve been together ever since?”
“Sure have, little lady,” Gage utters. “We might not be blood, but we are family.”
“Yeah, a dysfunctional family.” Miles laughs while flinging eggs across the table in Gage’s direction.
“You’re all lucky to have found each other. I never had that.”
“Had what?” Chase asks me, but I’m not sure if I want to answer. His piercing gaze never left my face, waiting for me to open up the way he just had, but my story was never a happy one and I didn’t want the smiles to turn to pity.
“A family.” I whisper.
Silence flutters around the air, and nobody speaks. My words just linger in the air, killing the mood. The once radiant smiles turned to solemn, sad faces, and the pity I wanted to avoid was clear in all of their faces. I wished I could take back the words that had fallen from my lips, but that’s the thing about words. Once they were out, there was no taking them back.
“Well, you could always join our family.” Miles offers.
“Don’t be stupid.” Damon spits out. “She’s not here by choice, she’s here because—well, it doesn’t matter why she’s here.”
“She’s here now, so why can’t she be a part of our family?”
“She will run the first chance she gets.” Chase sneers.
“Maybe she will surprise you.”
“That I very much doubt.”
Chase was right, given the chance I would run because I didn’t belong here. He only brought me here because his revenge plan had fallen through and he still hadn’t got what he needed from me. Once he knew there would be no reason to keep me here, he could let me go and find the peace that he had been looking for.
“He’s right,” I mutter. “I would run. I don’t belong here. I’m only here because Chase wants revenge for what I did to him a long time ago, and I never explained why I did what I did.” I place my fork on my plate and look at him. “I thought you would have forgotten about me. I thought you would have moved past what I did, but you didn’t.” I sigh. “When you have your answers, you will find peace—.”
“No, Ava, that’s not—.”
“So, I’m going to give that to you. I owe you that much. What you did was cruel, Chase, but I guess I can’t blame you. What I did to you was so much worse. I stole from you that night. That was the goal all along, but I didn’t want to.”
“You didn’t want to?” Damon shouts across the table. “Then, why did you?”
I wasn’t sure how I could explain why I did what I did without divulging information about my painful past. That was nothing to do with Chase, and I didn’t want to go over the details anymore. I didn’t want to think about how my life was back then; I had survived, and I wanted to be a survivor. I didn’t want to be pitied. I wasn’t a victim. My stupid decisions had put me in danger and I only had myself to blame for that. I wasn’t a victim, and I didn’t want to be seen as one.
If I didn’t get out the words, I needed to right now; I knew I would never say it to him, and I needed to tell him. Not just for him, but for myself. I had held onto this for long enough and I wasn’t expecting forgiveness, but he deserved to know why the girl he had shown kindness to have deceived him.
I glance up at him. I’m unsure if the words are even going to come out. “Ava, you don’t need to do this.” He reassures me. “That isn’t why you are here.”
“Isn’t it?” He shakes his head. “Well, I think you deserve to know, anyway.” He stands and walks towards me, sitting beside me. Confusion passes over my face. Great, as if it wasn’t hard enough. Now I had to smell him while I tried to go over why I had thrown the kindness he had shown me in his face. “That night, you were the first person in my life to give me something. Something that held value. I never forgot that.”
