Page 54 of Capturing Ava
Moving a little faster I can hear her moans turn to sharp screams. “Fuck, Chase, yes—just—like—that.” Her voice in my ear causes my body to keep at the light pace, her body shudders beneath mine with her small thrust that has me pulsing around her pussy. “Oh god, oh god, just—fuck.” She cries and I feel her smother my cock with her slick pussy juice.
Her body shakes but my thrusting doesn’t cease. Thrusting deeper and slower deep inside of her, her cries of pleasure penetrate my ear. Sharp pangs of pleasure hit my spine as the pleasure crashes through my bod. “Fuck, Ava, I fucking love you.” I cry out feeling my thick load shoot inside of her but that’s not what makes my body shake. The small tears that crawl down her face as I look into her eyes makes me shake with surprise.
Gasping for breath I fall at the side of her body, wrapping my muscular arms around her body and holding her close, I hear the quiet sobs that she tries to mask by burying her face within my chest. “What’s wrong baby?”
“Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to say that?” Her muffled sobs hit my body.
“Why did I have to say I love you?” She nods. “Because silly girl, I do.”
She raises her head and tears continue to fall down her pretty porcelain face as she looks back at me. “I can’t—.”
“I know, baby,” I smile. “You don’t need to.”
I hold her in my arms, and I feel something I have never felt before. I feel happy and I don’t even want to run from it—that was Ava’s job. I wanted to stay here until morning, look into her pretty eyes when I woke up, but I also wanted to give her the choice.
This wasn’t about me. I didn’t want to force her into feeling something if she didn’t. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to lie in my arms, so I wait until she’s in a deep slumber and I slowly move her body across the bed, listening to her peaceful little murmurs.
Ava had turned my world upside down and made me whole again. Something I thought was impossible. As I watch her sleep, I’m amazed at how much I feel about the little beast, but maybe I always had.
I had thought all those years ago hate fueled me, but now I look down at her sleeping frame, I realise I couldn’t let her go because I had always felt something for her. It was easier to tell myself that I hated her. It was the best way to not get a broken heart, but I never hated her. I think I just wanted to love her and now I needed to protect her.
As I stand there, I regret moving away from her warmth as soon as I leave her bed. She was so beautiful. This was more than I ever expected she would give me, but when those tears fell down her face, something deep inside of me stirred. It broke my heart that she would rather deny what she felt by breaking her own heart.
She didn’t know it yet, but she could never break her own heart because I had taken a piece of her with me, stored in a special place in my chest. As long as I held onto her heart, she could never break it, not fully.
No matter how many times she broke her own heart, I would be there to make it whole again.
25
CAPTURINGAVA
AVA
I lay still, allowing the darkness to shroud me. The warmth of his arms around my body was no longer there. Silence suspends me, deep in thought. Seeing him gone fills me with loneliness and sadness.
I had hoped he would still be here and that I would be locked in his embrace. Is that how he felt when I had disappeared from his arms all those years ago? Was this my punishment? But I know I’m been silly, he hasn’t disappeared. He had just gone to his room.
The thoughts run around my head. The thought of every moment I’ve had with Chase buzzes around my brain. Why was I so bothered that he had left? Why did I care? I couldn’t understand what had changed, but everything had changed. Since I had been here, something had changed. I just didn’t what had been changed.
Laid there in the darkness, I finally realised what had changed. The fear pounds in my chest and I just want to run. Run away from the crawling anxiety that creeps up to my chest. My heart is pounding as the crawling fear climbs through my body at an alarming rate.
The events and the words swirl around my brain, and then it hits me like a bolt of lightning. Like a light bulb had pinged inside of my head. The one thing that I had been denying myself, the reason I had lied to myself for so long. The words I dare not speak out loud, not even to myself.
I loved Chase Knight.
The words spin around my head as if they are on a loop and I can feel the warmth spread around my chest as I finally admit that underneath it all; I felt something for him. Maybe I always had, and I just didn’t believe I deserved it.
The words pour out of my mouth in a rush:
I love him
I love him.
I love him.
I can feel a smile pulling at the corners of my lips and my head swims with warmth as I slide my legs from the bed. The pounding in my chest races harder as I slowly walk towards the door and stall, brushing my fingers across the handle.
Go to him I hear a voice in my head.
