Page 64 of The Bratva's Auctioned Bride
All of us follow Matvei into the living room, and I flop down onto the sofa in preparation to be blasted for a second time today.
“What the fuck were you thinking, man? No, don’t even bother answering that. You weren’t thinking, as usual, you just act on impulse without a single consideration for anyone around or how your actions will affect us.” Matvei is furious, pacing up and down in front of the sofa, shaking his head, pushing his hands through his hair.
“And this time, you involved an innocent girl in your mess. Angelika doesn’t deserve this. She’s out there trying to cover for you, but I see straight through it, man. This was you.All you. It’s so fucking typical of you,” Mat snarls, and Oleg and Tim nod in agreement.
Shit.
They all think so low of me.
“Why did you have to choose a Shev?” Timofey snaps. “Of all the people you could have messed with, a Shev? It’s like you’re hell bent on destroying everything for everyone. Determined to tear everything down for what? Because you’re not happy, we all have to be unhappy? What is it that drives you to do these stupid things, man?”
All I can do is hang my head and let them plow into me with their angry, hurtful words. I can’t defend myself because everything they’re saying is fair. I get it. I understand. They’re right.
I rest my elbows on my knees, leaning forward in the seat, and rest my face in my hands in shame.
“I’m sorry, guys, seriously. I didn’t intentionally go out there with the idea of fucking things up,” I mutter.
“It’s never intentional, but somehow you keep repeating the same cycle over and over again. You keep doing stupid shit that affects us. When does it end, Diomid? When do you start thinking about your actions before you rush into them?” Mat snarls, pacing again.
The lecture goes on for a solid hour. Each of my brothers takes turns giving me a piece of their mind. I sit through it with humility, keeping my voice low and refraining from argument. And while they are laying it down on me, I can’t stop thinking about her.
Her family was also furious. I saw the way Jaroslav looked at her. She’s probably getting it ten times worse than I am right now, and my heart breaks for her.
It’s never what I wanted for her.
I never intended for any of this to happen.
But I did, though, didn’t I? Because I kept pushing to have her. I never tried to stop myself.How could I, though? She’s everything I have ever wanted.
I’m such a selfish asshole. At the end of the day, that’s the only true thing that matters right now.
When the lecture is over, Matvei practically kicks me out of his house, and I walk away with my tail between my legs, back to my car, miserable, exhausted, and wishing things had gone differently.
Sitting in my car, I pull my phone from my back pocket. For a moment, I stare at it, wanting to call her. Wanting to message her. But imagine if her brother had her phone, anticipating that. It would make things worse if that’s even possible. If there is a way to make things worse, though, I’m sure I’ll be the one to find it.
I scoff at myself, shake my head, and shove my phone into the console of my car.
I can’t message her.
Lying in my bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. The darkness is too dark, and my thoughts are too agitated. My mind is teasing me with all the ways I could have done this differently so that I didn’t end up losing her. Because that’s what I’ve done. I’ve created a situation so bad that she and I could never actually be together now.
Morning light begins to glow against my ceiling, and I haven’t slept at all.
Dragging myself out of bed, I throw on some sweatpants and head to the gym.Stay busy, clear your head. Forget about the best thing that ever happened to you.
***
In the morning, I’m sitting at my desk in my home office, going through the scripts of the recordings caught by the bugs Angelika and I planted at the auction.
As the bugs record, my system immediately transcribes it into text. Then the text is scanned, and the algorithm is set to trigger and highlight certain words.
Scrolling through the pages of text, I pause over the highlighted bits, reading those as priority.
I’ve been doing this for a few hours a day, every day since we planted the bugs.
And finally, it’s paid off.
I read aloud, my eyes squinting at the words. “You can bring the girls in on Friday night. The auction starts Saturday at eight. Have them ready. We don’t want them looking too beaten up, so maybe get someone in to dress them. The better they look, the higher the offers will be.”
