Page 106 of A Light So Blinding
Tolly was seated in the same place as always. He faced the back of the library, seated at his desk with a book open on the surface, but he stared out a window. Lost in thought, she assumed.
“You haven’t kept up with the ledgers,” she murmured as she slipped into the room behind him. Astrid made sure to close the door in her wake. No one was going to interrupt them. Not this time. “I thought you’d be more responsible considering what happened last time.”
He froze, his shoulders stiffening before he turned around to look at her. All the blood drained out of his features, almost as though he was seeing a ghost. He compressed his pale lips, his breath coming in soft pants as he continued to stare at her, saying nothing.
“You don’t have a single word to say to me?” she asked as she strode closer to him. Astrid reached out her hands, combing her fingers through his silver hair as she had done so many times when he was upset. “You usually have a lot to say, Tolly. I thought you’d be excited to see me again.”
“Astrid?” he asked, his voice shaking with emotion. “Surely it’s not you?”
“It’s me. I made it back to you.”
But that wasn’t true, and they both knew it. She’d never had any genuine emotion for him. Sometimes, she’d thought he understood that. He’d look at her, and his expression would grow a little wistful, and then angry. As though he’d wanted her to feel something for him even though he was twice her age.
Apparently, he wasn’t thinking the same thing. His expression was still twisted with horror. “I... I... You were given to the troll. They said you were murdered in the dungeons during a brawl. Alongside the Bull who had claimed you.”
“You should know I wouldn’t die that easily. No, my dear. I got out. But I need your help.” She trailed her fingers along his face, lingering on the rounded edge of his jaw. “They wanted me to die, just like you said. That place is a horrible pit of torment and pain. I need to go back to it, Tolly. And I need to tear it all down.”
He shook his head. “No, you can’t do that. They’ll catch you. They’ll know I was the one who helped you.”
“If you help me do this, then I’ll come back to you. Forever,” she lied. “I know you have the means and the connections. I’ll stay right here, where I have always belonged. By your side.”
There was a time when this would have worked. The lord would have done anything to keep her attention, to feel like she saw him and only him in her life. And yet... something had changed.
Because his gaze flicked to the door, not to her curves. He was looking for a way out.
Her hands curled into claws, gripping his face so he couldn’t get away from her. “Tolly. You’ve been keeping so much from me.”
“I have no need of a priestess any longer,” he replied. “Your services, though remarkable, are not...”
She waited for him to finish the sentence, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. So she did it for him. “No longer necessary, is that what you were going to say?”
He firmly nodded. “You can try to manipulate me if you wish, Priestess. But I will no longer fall under your spell whenever you desire to trap me. Harwick informed me of all your witchcraft. He told me how you manipulated my mind and how none of my mistakes were my own. You made me make them.”
So that was what it had been. Harwick had gotten into his ear, telling him that the priestesses were witches or that theywere controlling the entirety of their realm and he should fear them.
Harwick was right, of course. But in circumstances like this, priestesses were always told to do the same thing. Sometimes, it was best to cull the herd when one of them realized they were being controlled.
Astrid was done trying to convince him to do the right thing. She would just make him.
The whispering sensation of her magic pulsed out of her hands, tugging at his fear of her, and his hesitation to even be near her. In that magic she could feel a bit of Bjorn as well, a need to pull a spirit animal from Tolly’s flesh. She wanted to show him how right he was to fear her.
She was angry about how he had treated her. And she wasn’t afraid of how he was going to react because he couldn’t use her sister as an excuse. He couldn’t use anyone other than himself as an excuse.
Tolly wrenched away from her with a wild shove that sent her careening away from him. She caught herself on another desk in the library, her hip banging against the wood painfully as he lunged up with a letter opener in his hand. “You don’t get to control me anymore,” he said.
But his hand was shaking. He gestured wildly with the letter opener, but it wasn’t with movement that was controlled in the slightest. He was terrified.
“Don’t do that!” he yelled. “I can feel you trying to change how I’m thinking! You always did that.”
“I helped you,” she said. “I always made you more confident. I helped you in becoming a better lord every time I used my power.”
“You were making me someone I’m not!” he insisted. His hand shook even worse. “This is exactly what he said you woulddo. You are trying to manipulate me. You want to take over my mind, and it’s not right. It’s notright.”
“Not right? Tolly, you’re saying that like I’m some kind of abomination. You weren’t saying that whenever you had me use my power to get you what you wanted, so I have to admit, I don’t entirely believe you.” She stood up straight, pointing at the ceiling above them. “You were quick to replace me with another who has the same talents I do.”
“Talents? They gave me a priestess who’s only good at moving things with her mind. She can’t even move anything heavy. A cup. A letter. She’s far less dangerous than someone who can twist another person’s mind and get them to do whatever she wants.” He took a deep, steadying breath, and his hand stopped shaking. Now, the letter opener was pointed at her with obvious intent. “You were always a threat to this house.”
“Who told you that, I wonder?”
