Page 68 of A Light So Blinding
“What did you say?” she asked with a laugh.
“That’s the beauty of these creatures. They’ll only tell the secret when the person it’s about is ready to hear it. They keep secrets for all of us.”
The pig wandered over to her, and she bent down. Holding out her hands for it to snuffle, she patted the flat nose as it seemed to deeply draw in her scent. “Bjorn, this is silly. The pigs don’t really do that.”
But then the pig opened its mouth and Bjorn’s voice came out: “I think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Two things about that were startling. The first was that a pig had spoken with his voice and the second, that he thought she was beautiful.
Astrid looked up to see how worried he was. A small furrow had appeared between his brows, and his hands were curled into fists against his sides. But he stood there looking at her, watching like he always did. Waiting to see what she would say.
“I...” She didn’t know what to say to that, actually. “But I’m human.”
“And?”
“And you’re a troll. Surely you had expectations of what a troll wife would look like for you. I can see how different I am from everyone here.” She lifted her arms as though that would remind him. “Why would you think I’m beautiful?”
In the blink of an eye, he was right in front of her. So close she could smell the sun radiating off his skin. He lifted a hand to her cheek, turning her face so she looked up at him. “How could I not find you beautiful? Would you like me to tell you all the reasons? The grace in your hands when you talk. The sky that I hadn’t seen in ten years in your gaze. The sound of your voice eased every angry part of me. There are a hundred reasons and more to find you beautiful, Astrid.”
“A lot of people have found me beautiful in my life.”
“But none of them see what I see.” A flash of anger nearly turned his gaze red, but his hand was still gentle when he cupped her jaw. “I see your strength, your resilience, your ability to put all others before yourself even when it is detrimental to your own health when you do so. I see your loyalty to your sister, and your love for this world. I no longer see the priestess, Astrid. I see you.”
Why was that so terrifying? Why did that make her want to not look at him, to crawl out of her skin because that was terrifying to believe?
His thumb crested over the peak of her cheekbone, tracing the lines of her face. “I don’t know which god looked favorably upon me to send you into my life, but I will have to find them and worship them until I die.”
“Bjorn,” she whispered.
“I don’t want to sever the bond,” he blurted. He almost seemed surprised that he’d said it, but then he forged forward with newfound confidence. “I like you. I can see a future where we are friends. Perhaps more. I know that is not what you want to hear when you desire to find your sister and cannot see beyond that. But Rose has been in Trollveggen for many months now. Perhaps she would wish to stay as well.”
“My sister wants a life outside of all this.”
“Your sister wanted a life outside of the labyrinth. Outside of the cruelty that revolved around our lives, but I cannot tell you if she would ever go back to your kingdom. Your sister wanted her freedom. Trollveggen gives her that.”
“You don’t know if that’s true.”
But it made sense. That had been her fear from the start of all this. Rose had seen the worst of their kingdom, been thrown away to the dungeons where only the worst monsters lived. At least, the monsters who were humans. It seemed that was who the king wished to punish her with.
Would she even want to return?
What would Astrid do then? She certainly didn’t want to return to the castle where so many horrible things had happened. She couldn’t go back to Lord Tolly or even back to where they trained the priestesses. She was just as lost as her sister now, having thrown herself into finding Rose when she knew there wasn’t anywhere for her to go after this.
“I didn’t think this plan through all that well, did I?” she asked quietly.
“You saw a way to save your sister,” he replied. “And you did. You found me, you released me, and now I will make sure you get to her side. That was your plan, and it was a good one.”
“But what do we do after?”
He stared down into her gaze, and she swore she saw a future in his eyes. One where they lived together quietly, growing their own food, raising their own animals. It was a quieter life than she was used to. But there was no more manipulation. There were no expectations of politics or having to control an entire room so a war didn’t break out.
Peace. That was what he offered her.
His thumb moved again, this time trailing along her jaw. “We do whatever you want, bright one.”
But that was terrifying too. She didn’t know what she wanted.
“I need time to think,” she said. “I don’t know if this future you want is one that I can agree to. I’m sorry, Bjorn.”
