Page 87 of A Light So Blinding
“I cannot tell you how many times I believed it would be better to die than return here. It would be better to seek out a bitter end than to know you all had lived and moved on without me.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “And now I fear I may have been right.”
There was silence in response. Silence that told him he had stepped over some line that Ragnar could not understand. But his friend couldn’t understand it to begin with.
The sound of nothingness burned, and finally Bjorn tried to explain it away. “You don’t know what it was like down there. You don’t know how it felt to be fighting for my own survival while killing our kind. People I knew. People who meant something to me. Did you know I was taken with Hakon? A good man. They made me slit his throat into a barrel so they could take his blood away. I don’t know what they did with it. I will never forget him begging me not to do it, when I knew if I didn’t, they were going to make him do it to me.”
So many memories. Maybe they were the reason for the rage that bubbled up inside him. They were the reason he didn’t want other trolls to touch him.
Bjorn was tainted. The curse had sunk into his flesh, and he feared it would spread to anyone who touched him. He couldn’t shake that thought. Not in the grotto. And certainly not here.
“You did what you had to do to survive,” Ragnar replied. “No one is going to begrudge you that. They’re just happy you’re home.”
“They want me to be a weapon. Again. They want to wield me like they did my father, and they expect me to do so because I’d want my revenge.” He looked up from the table and stared into Ragnar’s gaze. “I just want to be left alone, brother. I want to go back to my farm and grow food with my own two hands. I wantto finally have pigs. And to live with the woman I love, quietly. Without anyone bothering us.”
There was a lot to unpack in that statement. But Ragnar’s brows lifted at the end, and he repeated, “The woman you love?”
Fuck.
He did love her, though. He loved every inch of her beautiful body and every spark in that brilliant mind. Nodding solemnly, he admitted, “I’ve known for a while now. She doesn’t, though. So keep your mouth shut about it.”
Ragnar lifted his hands. “I wouldn’t dream of saying a word.”
“Not even to Maia.”
“Now, brother, you know as well as I do, a troll wife like mine knows everything and everyone.” A flash of his white teeth reminded Bjorn of the boy Ragnar used to be. Teasing. Funny. Always joking about something.
And now look at him. Beaten into a sharp sword that healed as much as he hurt.
Heaving a sigh, Bjorn pushed away from the table. “Look at the two of us. If you had asked me when I was a child who we would be as men, I never would have said this.”
“No, neither would I.”
“It’s a disappointment to our ancestors, I suppose.”
“Ah, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.” Ragnar gestured for the door, and the two of them headed out of the room. “I was a young man who had a lot of big dreams. But I wouldn’t change anything that happened to me, because it led me to her.”
The door opened, revealing the redhead Bjorn had met in the labyrinth. He’d carried her to Ragnar and then watched them both disappear through the damaged wall he had shown them. She was still alive. He was pleased to see it.
Her eyes danced over him, and he saw the sheer pleasure in them. “Bjorn!”
His name rang out, echoing too loudly. Trolls looked at him, many of them knowing who he was without question now and it made him panic.
Ragnar grabbed her arm gently, reeling her into his chest and leaning down to murmur in her ear. The redhead, while boisterous, clearly understood that there was going to have to be some time before they had their reunion.
She nodded and mouthed, “Later.”
And then she had eyes only for Ragnar as he swept her into his arms, and headed out of the castle. Like no one existed other than the two of them.
Bjorn could only hope his future was so bright. He’d have to wait and see.
Thirty-Three
Astrid
Perhaps Astrid was a lovesick fool, but she immediately went to find Bjorn. She didn’t want to stay in that pretty sitting room that looked rather like a lord’s parlor. She didn’t want to be back in this world that she felt like she had just left. What she wanted was him.
She needed his quiet strength, his resilience against anything and everything that might bother him. She wanted to know that she was safe. And safety had become intertwined with being in his presence. What a strange thing it was to think. Only months ago she would have thought trolls were the most dangerous creatures to be stuck with. She would have flinched away from the mere thought of even standing near one.
Now she was walking through their castle, ignoring all the other trolls who gave her odd looks, and found Bjorn.
