Page 156 of Almost Ours
I sighed, leaning against the counter. “He lied to me about something. Something big. And I just… I couldn’t deal with it. I needed to protect myself.”
Even as the words left my mouth, a part of me hated them. Yes, Ryan had lied, but I wasn’t going to turn him into a villain. It wasn’t my place to out him to anyone, to make him the bad guy just because he kept something from me. It was his life, his past. He had the right to choose who he shared it with.
Benny tilted his head, his expression softening. “Okay, that’s fair. I get it, trust is everything. But, Harper, do you love him?”
The question made my chest tighten. My mind screamed at me to avoid the truth, to let the walls I’d built hold steady. But the truth slipped out before I could stop it. “Yes.”
“And he loves you. And Connor.”
“Love isn’t always enough, though, Benny,” I said, my voice cracking as I felt the weight of everything crashing down. “I’ve learned that the hard way.”
His gaze softened, and he reached across the counter, placing a flour-dusted hand over mine. “Harper, you’re one of the strongest people I know. But sometimes being strong means letting people in, even when it scares the hell out of you.”
I bit my lip, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. “What if I let him in and he lets me down again?”
Benny squeezed my hand, his grip warm and steady. “Then you pick yourself back up, like you always do. But what if he doesn’t let you down? What if he’s worth the risk?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. The thought of putting myself out there again, of letting Ryan back in, was terrifying.
“I just… I think I moved into something too quickly with Ryan,” I muttered, the excuse tasting bitter on my tongue.
Benny shot me a disbelieving look. “Bullshit.”
I blinked, startled. “What?”
“Bullshit,” he repeated, not backing down. “You didn’t move too quickly, Harper. You trusted him. And that’s what you’ve been beating yourself up about ever since you found out about this thing. You don’t get to use ‘too quickly’ as an excuse for feeling hurt.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but his words hit me like a snap. He was right. I had trusted Ryan, and that’s what made the whole situation feel so wrong. But it wasn’t the speed of our relationship that was the problem. It was the trust I thought we had–until it was shattered.
It had beenfive days since I last saw or heard from Harper. Five long, fucking miserable days. Every hour without her stretched endlessly, each one another reminder of what I’d lost. Of what I ruined.
I was unraveling. The kind of mess you couldn’t fix with a good night’s sleep or a stiff drink. Not that I was getting much of either. Sleep was a joke. Eating wasn’t much better–I forced down just enough to keep functioning. Barely.
And the phone. Jesus, the phone. I couldn’t stop checking it. Over and over, thumbing the screen like maybe this time I’d see her name. But it was always the same: the last message I’d sent her, sitting there unanswered, staring back at me like a reminder carved in stone. Each time I looked, the silence cut deeper.
I knew this was going to happen.
I knew it the second I let myself believe I could have something real. Something good. That I could build a life with her and Connor, that I could somehow outrun my past and come out the other side clean.
I should’ve known better. Because this is what I do–I fuck things up. It’s practically my legacy.
The worst part? I knew it was my fault. I could have prevented this if I had just been honest.
I thought about showing up every damn day.
Thought about storming into her life, explaining, begging her to see that the man in those stories isn’t me anymore. That he never really was–not in the way it sounded.
But she didn’t want to hear it. The damage was already done.
She was it for me. The only person who’d ever made me feel like I could breathe again. Like maybe I wasn’t beyond saving.
And now I was supposed to sit on my hands and hope she came around?
I rubbed a hand down my face, pacing the length of my kitchen like a caged animal. My chest was tight, my thoughts loud, and no matter how many times I tried to convince myself that waiting was the right thing–that giving her space was what she needed–I couldn’t stop thinking about one simple truth.
What if space only pushed her further away?
What if she thought I didn’t care enough to fight for her?
