Page 182 of Almost Ours
“Oh boy,” Nina said, sitting back in her chair with a dramatic sigh. “Here we go.”
Mrs. Knox tilted her head, her curiosity evident. “And?”
I hesitated, unsure how much to say, but the words came tumbling out. “He said things–about Ryan, about how he’s been since… since everything fell apart. I–I thought I knew everything. I thought I understood, but I didn’t. I didn’t know any of it.”
Mrs. Knox paused, watching me carefully, but she didn’t say anything. Nina, on the other hand, tilted her head, her lips pressing into a thin line.
“What didn’t you know?” Nina prompted, her voice low and patient.
I closed my eyes for a moment, gathering the strength to speak. “He told me about Kyle’s accident. How it wasn’t a dirty hit, how it was just… a freak accident. And how much Ryan blamed himself. I didn’t realize how much he’s been carrying. How much guilt he still has over Kyle–over everything.”
Nina’s eyes softened, and I felt a flicker of understanding pass between us.
I let out a long exhale. “I’ve been so awful to him, and he never even explained because I didn’t give him a chance.”I murmured, staring down at my coffee. “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
Mrs. Knox’s face softened, and she reached across the table to pat my hand. “What kind of mistake, Harper?”
I took a shaky breath. “I pushed Ryan away. Over and over again. He’s been nothing but patient and kind, and I just… I shut him out. And now he’s leaving. And I can’t–” My breath hitched, and I blinked back tears. “I can’t tell him how I feel. Not now. He’ll think I’m just trying to keep him from this huge opportunity, and I don’t want to be that person.”
Mrs. Knox nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. “Sometimes, Harper,” she said gently. “It takes the thought of losing someone to realize how important they really are to you. That doesn’t make you a bad person–it makes you human.”
Her words struck a chord deep inside me, and the tears I’d been holding back spilled over.
“What if it’s too late?” I choked out. “What if I’ve completely ruined everything?”
Nina leaned forward, her expression unusually serious. “Look, Harper, you had every right to feel the way you did. After everything you’ve been through, no one would blame you for protecting yourself, especially Ryan. But think about this: Ryan hasn’t gone anywhere. Even after you broke up with him, he’s been there. Mowing your lawn, fixing things around the house, showing up for Connor. He’s done all these little things–not because he had to, but because he wanted to. That guy is so in love with you, it’s ridiculous.”
“And,” she added with a sly smile, “I hate to say I told you so, but…” She trailed off, raising an eyebrow knowingly.
I let out a shaky laugh, wiping at my face. “I don’t know if I can fix this. What if he doesn’t feel the same anymore?”
Mrs. Knox gave me a knowing smile, one that seemed to carry years of wisdom. “You’ll never know unless you try dear. And if he’s truly the right one, he’ll want to hear you say it.”
I swallowed hard, the weight of their words settling over me.
“I don’t want to ruin this opportunity for him,” I said quietly. “He deserves it. He deserves to go and be amazing without me holding him back.”
“And he will,” Mrs. Knox said firmly. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be there for him when he comes back. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost your chance.”
I nodded, though doubt still clawed at the edges of my mind. “But what if he doesn’t come back? What if he takes a permanent coaching position?” My voice broke on the last word.
Nina gave me a knowing look. “If he does, it’ll be because it’s what he really wants. And if you love him, Harp, you’ll support him no matter what. But that guy?” She shook her head with a small smile. “He’s not going anywhere. Trust me.”
I wanted to believe her. More than anything, I wanted to believe that I hadn’t completely ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me. As I sat there, my coffee growing cold in my hands, I couldn’t shake the fear that I’d already lost him.
The text came laterthat afternoon, just as I finished folding the last of Connor’s laundry.
Ryan: Hey. Any chance I can pop by? Want to talk to Connor before I go.
My heart jumped into my throat. Of course he wants to talk to Connor, he had asked me last night. There was just a smallpart of me–okay a huge part of me–hoping he was texting because he wanted to talk to me. My fingers hovered over the keyboard for longer than I care to admit before I forced myself to type back.
Harper: Sure. Anytime.
The second I hit send my nerves kicked into high gear.
This is Ryan’s moment, Harper. You’re not taking this from him. He deserves this. You’ve hardly given him the time of day the past three months; you can’t just unload your feelings on him when he’s about to leave town.
But when I saw his truck pull into the driveway, every piece of logic I’d clung to crumbled.
