Page 70 of Almost Ours
But his voice is too small, too tight.
Ryan nudges him playfully. “You sure? You sore? Need anything?”
Connor doesn’t answer right away, just presses his lips together. Then I see it–the way his eyes shine, the way his throat bobs like he’s trying to keep something in.
I glance at Ryan, and his face has changed too. He sees it now.
Connor blinks fast, swiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.
“Connor…” I say softly.
And that’s all it takes.
His face crumples, his small shoulders shaking as he bursts into tears.
“Oh, baby,” I whisper, immediately getting up and kneeling beside his chair, pulling him into my arms. He clutches onto me, his hands gripping my sweatshirt, and I hold him tight, rubbing his back, pressing kisses into his hair.
“I’m sorry,” he sobs. “I’m so sorry, Mom.”
My heart shatters.
“Hey, no, shh, it’s okay,” I whisper, smoothing his hair back, wiping his tears.
He pulls away just enough to look at me and Ryan, those green eyes–my eyes–red-rimmed and full of guilt.
“I just wanted to set the goalie nets up,” he says between sniffles. “I just walked on. I didn’t even have my skates. And then–the ice just–” His voice cracks. “It just caved under me, and I fell in. I don’t even remember how it happened.”
Tears sting my own eyes as I cup his face, brushing his damp cheeks with my thumbs. “Connor, listen to me. I don’t tell you to stay off the ice because I want to take the fun away. I just want to keep you safe.”
“I know,” he whispers. His chin trembles. “I’m sorry.”
Ryan reaches out, rubbing gentle circles on Connor’s back, his face soft, understanding.
And then Connor turns to him.
“I’m sorry you had to jump in after me.”
Ryan freezes for half a second, his brows furrowing, like he can’t believe what he just heard.
“Hey,” he says firmly, shifting his chair closer. “You don’t ever apologize for that.”
Connor sniffs, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
Ryan’s voice drops lower, steadier. “I didn’t even think, bud. I just ran. I jumped in. Because I’d do anything to keep you safe.”
Something thick lodges itself in my throat.
Because the way he says it, the way he looks at Connor–like nothing in the world matters more to him than making sure this little boy is okay–God, I don’t stand a chance.
Connor sniffs again, his hand gripping Ryan’s forearm. “Thanks, Ryan.”
Ryan smiles softly, ruffling Connor’s hair.
And that’s when I know–without a doubt–that Ryan is so much more than just a friend to Connor.
And he might just be becoming so much more to me, too.
The mood around the kitchen table has shifted completely.
