Page 24 of Ashfall
Deciding he's had enough of this match, he thrusts so hard into me I almost choke on the breath I was taking, and he's back to his first tempo. My orgasm uses it to spark its way to the finish line, surging through my entire being as I finally let my eyes roll, darkness blurring my vision as I literally see stars. Noc isn’t far behind; his movements become staggered before he finally grinds to a stop, groaning out a breath, both of us completely spent.
I keep my eyes closed as he pulls out of me, severing the connection and allowing the cold to creep towards me. Because I know reality is going to come crashing through the fairytale I just got to live in when my I do open them, a brief flitting movement of happiness I never thought I'd have again, but our truth is far from that, too much had been happened between us for this moment to ever happen again. I force myself to meet his gaze, he's searching for the regret I feel, or maybe it’s his. This wasn't what we agreed, what I planned. I wish I hadn't given into his instant pull, the rest of the night wouldn't be so hard, because I'd think about this moment for the rest of my life if I could.
But instead, I let myself indulge in the small amount of time we had together, because I know once he tells me everything, my heart is going to be broken beyond repair, and I'll never allow myself to think about him again. “You called me Lev,” he whispers as I turn to face him, tracing his thumb along my back as I do. I can't do this, I can't let my heart lead here because I have a job to do. He's a monster and he ruined my life - and that thought alone is enough to rip me from the fantasy. “It must have slipped out.” I say, my voice steady even though there's a storm raging inside me to match the one that’s gone off outside.
I slipmy straps up my arms. “I need to go fix myself.” He stares at me for a second before he too seems to come back to reality, one we both desperately need to get a grip on. He clears his throat. “Bathroom's right across the hall.”
“Thanks,” I mutter as I slide around him and rush straight through both doors, locking the last one behind me. I lean against it and try not to think about how much I just fucked up here. The plan was to come here, go to dinner. I'd grill him about everything he's done over the last four years, why he leaked the information and how, what his intentions were with me, why he faked his death. But the most important answer I've needed since the movement Graves sat me down - Why kill my mom and then make me fall for him?
Those thoughts are the jolt I needed to get me back on track. I clean myself up, readjusting my underwear and zipping up my dress, straightening it out the best I can. I move to the mirror and wash my hands before rummaging through my bag for my makeup. I look at my reflection and flinch - I look exactly like a girl who’s just had the brains fucked out of her. My hair is a mess, my lipstick completely gone. And that’s when it starts to wash over me. Shame. It’s being poured over my skin like a baptism.I needed to do this.I don’t know how many times I chant that ludicrously inside my head, but enough time passes that I'm able to make myself look somewhat presentable.
I walk back into Noc’s office to find him sitting in the chair I occupied when I first arrived. He doesn’t look the least bit disheveled - typical. Meanwhile, I’ve had to spend the last fifteen minutes getting there along with calming my nerves, talking myself back off the ledge. I slowly walk over to him, where he remains sitting, lost in his thoughts - looking every bit the deadly hell spawn he is. “Are you ready to go?” I ask. He looks up at me in total shock, like the regret won and I’d bailed, but he shouldknow me well enough that I need the information more than my pride. “Uh, yeah, sure. Let me just grab my wallet.”
He walks over to his desk and opens a drawer to retrieve it when the door swings open behind me. “Get on the fucking ground! Hands behind your head!” No. No. This can’t be happening right now. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I didn't give the call, and it wasn't supposed to be until after I got all the information I needed. We needed. “What the fuck?!” I shout as the room floods with the patrols from base, armed to the teeth with guns. Not my unit. Noc just stands there, slowly raising his hands to his head. The look he gives me rips me apart. Like I’ve completely betrayed him. Like he thinks I slept with him and then called in reinforcements while I was in the bathroom.
As much as a wicked part of me thinkstouché motherfucker. I didn't want it like this, hence why 616 and Hawk were supporting me. A patrol moves up behind him, slamming him forward onto his desk, restraining his hands behind his back before yanking him upright again. Panic grips me. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Fuck - it’s all gone to shit. “Noc!” I rush out, not even knowing what I’m going to say next. I can’t exactly tell him -Sorry, I did plan for this to happen, but I was actually waiting until after we spoke at dinner, and these guys aren't supposed to be here. Oh and I didn’t exactly mean to let you fuck me.
"I get it,Nyx," he says, venom dripping from my codename. My brows furrow. He's dragged toward the door, but not before he slams his head into the guy holding him, sending the patrol crashing over the armchair and to the ground. I look at Noc wide eyed as he leans in to whisper, “Look at the file I emailed you. That should answer your questions -do nottrust Graves.” His words are rushed, barely a breath before two other patrols tackle him to the ground. What the hell? What does he even mean?I don't get a chance to ask him. The door swings open again behind me, and the one person he's just warned me about steps inside.
Noc is hauled upright, a busted lip and a black eye already forming as he stares Graves down. “Hello, Nocturne. Nice to see you're back from the dead and ready to pay for your crimes,” Graves says, his face twisting into a pure, evil grin. Noc’s smile outmatches his, sharp, knowing, and deadly. Making Graves falter for a fraction of a second before he regains his composure. “Nice to see you before you pay for yours,Commander.”
Graves's expression tightens. “Get this piece of shit back to base. Let him rot in the container for a couple of days before I see him.” Noc is dragged from the room - without even putting up a fight. The last I see of him is when he gives me a pleading look before he's dragged through the hallway.
I'm still staring out the door as the rest of the team files out, Graves steps into my line of vision. “Have you very well lost your damn mind, Nyx!” I jump out my skin at how loud he shouts, and my earlier confusion turns to boiling hot anger, threatening to spill over into the air between us. “Have I lostmymind? Haveyou? We had a plan, athoroughplan. And this wasn't it! I didn't even get one piece of information out of him.” I yell right back at him. I don’t even care if he's my superior. He completely overrode the plan and barged in - twice now. He's not even supposed to be here.
“Noc offered himself up to me, and we had everything figured out. We took the opportunity and ran with it, if left any longer he would have known something was up. One less bad guy to go after when we're ready.” I huff the last bit of fiery breath in me.
His face contorts with what one would describe as unrelenting fury. “It's not your fucking place to get information out him, that’s our job. You remember your fucking rank, Nyx.”
I flinch, taking a step back from him. “What the hell's that supposed to mean?”
He loses his composure as he gets right in my face, a side to Graves I've never seen before. “It means don't stick your nose in where it’s not wanted, or you'll end up like your mother.”
I fully step away from him now, feeling like someone just poured a bucket of cold water over me. He straightens himself, tugging on his bulletproof vest as he realizes what he's said. He takes me in from head to toe, even though I've tried to make myself presentable, he probably knows. His eyes avert to the mess Noc and I left of his desk, paper and stationery lying all over the floor. I watch the moment realization hazes over him, and a look of disgust seeps deep into his features. “I'll deal with you when I get back.” He dismisses me, feet pounding on the wooden floor as he leaves the room.
My feet cement me to the ground with shock, wondering what the hell just happened in the last ten minutes. I feel lightheaded, reeling from how disastrously wrong this night has gone - having slept with Noc, watching him get detained right here in the house. The way Graves just behaved, and me? Not getting any of the answers I so desperately needed for closure. But Noc’s words come back to me."I emailed you. Don’t trust Graves."I pull out my phone and see only one email in my inbox - from an unknown sender. How did he get my work email? I open my security app, the one Adam installed for interceptions and to keep our communications hidden. Once activated, I return to my inbox and download the file. As I wait, I notice a message in the body of it…
Be careful around Graves. You and your team cannot trust him - especially you.
This file holds all the proof you need of everything I told you tonight. The names included are the only people you can trust with this.
It will lead you to the truth.
P.S. You looked heartbreakingly beautiful in that dress. I hope to see it on my bedroom floor one day. That is, if you ever forgive me.
—N
My tear-filled eyes fly through the documents - hundreds of files of everything that I've been told, but it’s the finer details. All the missing details. There are images, recordings, and footage spanning years. I quickly dial Adam. “Nyx! We've been trying to reach you; Graves is on his way...”
“He's already been and gone, Adam.” My tone is so flat and cold, it even sends a chill down my own spine.
“Shit. Did you get what you-” I cut in, there's no time to waste. “Not exactly, I can't explain right now. I haven't had a chance to properly look through everything, but I'm forwarding you an email. I have the blocker on before you panic. Read what you can.”
I take the phone from my ear and hit forward, waiting for him to confirm. “Got it... What the hell is this?” I take a deep breath, I’m not even sure what’s in there, but something inside me tells me I need to trust Noc on this. It’s faint, but it weirdly feels right.
“Noc got detained, Graves said he's dropping him at the base for a couple of days. But before he left... He told me not to trust Graves.” Curiosity getting the better of me, I head out to the hallway and check the coast is clear. Shutting the door, I put my phone on speaker and turn the volume down, looking over the files and finding a document namedBlack Talon. I open it andread a list of names, the names Noc told me were the only ones I could trust.
Ashley Trace – Active
