Page 15 of Not Falling for the Forward
“What for?”
“If you decide to murder me and dismember my body…?” I start.
“Jesus, Em. Dark! It's just a lift, I promise I'm not going to murder or dismember you.” He still has a smirk on his face.
“That's what they all say,” I roll my eyes, and he laughs out loud at me. I have never heard him laugh before, not in real life. It makes my smile wider.
Were quiet for a while after that, I exchanged some more messages with Dan:‘That Jack Cartwright, no way.’
‘Yes really.’
Jack is the one to break the silence. “Is it your boyfriend that I’m to answer to if something happens?” I startle at the reminder of having had a boyfriend.
“No, his brother. Eh no… Ex brother.” I correct myself and clear my throat, “No, my ex’s brother. Who is basically my brother. Not in weird incest kind of way, but in like a, I was his best friend first kind of way. He introduced us.” I’m flustered and babbling for some reason, either that or that brain haemorrhage Dan warned me about has come much later than medically indicated.
“So, no boyfriend?” he asks, a smirk again on his lips.
“Why?” I retort, curious as to why he would care about my love life, or lack thereof…
I must have said it more abruptly than it was supposed to because his eyes widen as if he is rethinking which one of us is the psychopath killer in the car. “Sorry,” he shrugs, “I’m just trying to make conversation.”
“Sorry,” I sigh. “I’m just still not okay talking about him. My ex.” My reply shocks me, because as I say it, I realise it might not be true anymore. It’s less me not being okay talking about him and more me not wanting him to take up any more space in my head than he has been.
“So fairly recent, then?” This earns Jack a side eye and no response.
He chuckles, “Ahhh, it makes sense now. That’s why you turned me down for a drink.” His smile is teasing, and I actually laugh.
“HA! How big is your ego, Jack? Do you need me to get out of the car to make room?” I gesture to the space in the car, and his grin widens wrinkling his eyes in the corners. God, how are even his age lines sexy? This is unfair.
“Why can’t I take you for a drink, then?” He turns his whole body in his chair to face me and I realise we have pulled up outside my house. His face is much more sincere now his cheeky grin is gone, his eyes shine in determination.
I let my eyes roam over his perfect face for a moment and take a deep breath, “Honestly?” I ask on a sigh.
“Always, please.”
“Well, for one, yes there’s the fact that I only broke up with my fiancé a few months ago.” He flinches when I say the word fiancé, like it’s a surprise that someone actually wanted to marry me. “Two,” I continue, “look at you and look at me,” I point between the two of us. “You're gorgeous. I’m average at best in the right lighting. You date models and singers and multiple reality TV stars at the same time.” He opens his mouth to interrupt, but I don't let him. “You have hundreds of options; I imagine your DMs are full of girls wanting to fuck you. Mine were full of a girl my ex decided to fuck instead of me. I don’t understand why you would even be interested, when you have so many options! Three…” I hold up three fingers between myself and Jack. Quicker than I can see his large, warm hand grasps my wrist and electricity shoots up my arm at the contact.
“Stop.” His deep voice commands, “Look at me.”
A small gasp leaves my lips, but I don’t interrupt. I slowly lift my eyes to meet his, a stormy sea of blue stares at me intensely. “You have no idea how beautiful you are, Emily, and there is something here. I don’t know what it is, but I know you feel it. I get that you’re not ready yet, and I can wait until you are. Then, I would like to take you out.” he says, not taking his eyes off mine. His admission takes my breath away, so he can feel the spark too? I was starting to think I had imagined it. Despite myself, I have to admit he has ignited something in me that I haven’t felt for a long time.
Not that I am looking to explore any kind of spark with this man, or any one at the moment. Nope.
It is nice to know I haven’t lost my desire though. I was starting to worry I’d dried up. Even my smutty books hadn’t been doing anything for me—and I mean full shifter, why choose, group action wasn’t tickling any kind of need. I'd started to read thrillers just to feel anything at all. I’d had to stop when I’d called Dan at three a.m. one night,to come over and check the back garden because I’d heard a sound that may or may not have been a cannibal. Still unconfirmed.
“Give me your phone.” Jack holds out a hand to me. I do as he asks and hand him my unlocked phone before thinking too deeply into it. He types his number in and saves it under his government name. “Look,” he says, “I’m sorry your Ex was a fucking idiot and cheated on someone like you. But I like to think I’m not like that. Let me take you for a drink, or dinner or whatever you fancy, and let’s get to know each other. Let me show you I’m not just the Jack you’ve read about.”
He hands me back my phone and I nod my reply, unsure of what to even say to that. I don’t think I could make my voice work if I wanted to. On unsteady legs I make my way out of the car, my hands are shaking as I unlock my door and let myself in. I can still feel the ghost of Jack’s touch on my wrist. How has one little bit of skin-to-skin contact got me so rattled?
I strip myself down and get into a scalding hot shower to try and warm myself up. I can think about nothing but that new number in my phone. The number I have no intention of using. Not now. Not ever.
Chapter seven
Jack
How the fuck did I miss three perfectly lined up goals today? This is not how the team needs me to be playing. This is not how we get promoted. I cannot be this inconsistent in the same week.
The press are going to have a field day writing up about this match. How the once golden boy, Jack Cartwright, in the running to make the England national team five years ago, can’t even score against a team at the bottom of the league he’s playing in now.
