Page 70 of Not Falling for the Forward
I look up from my phone at Jack, a small crease has formed between his brows. I reach out my thumb to soften it. He lets me and leans into my hand.
“Well, um…” Jess interrupts.
“What?” Jack snaps. It’s the first time I have ever heard him snap at anyone before and he looks immediately regretful.
“Just… Don’t read the comments, okay?” My heart sinks and I deflate back into the chair I’m sitting in. The comments. Of course, people would have something to say about it. Everyone always has an opinion. “They still haven’t got your name,” Jess finishes and I hear the underlying ‘yet’ that she didn’t need to say.
Jack’s hands stroke along my thighs to comfort me, “Thanks for letting us know, Jess.”
“Noprobs, handsome, treat her right or I’ll comment that you gave her an STI and I haven’t decided which one yet.” Jack rolls his eyes but the tension is still obvious in his shoulders as I end the call.
He turns his worried gaze back to me. “Tell me what’s going through your mind.”
“I guess I’m kind of relieved.”
That crease between his eyebrows is back, only it’s deeper now. “Relieved how?”
I let out a little, kind of hysteric laugh, unsure of if to tell him about my original doubt. I sigh. Honesty—that’s what we do. That’s what he asked for from day one. “I thought all the notifications were people telling me you were with someone else. That’s what happened last time I got that many notifications. I guess— Well, I guess I just went straight back there.”
Jack sits back on his knees quickly, as if my confession is a physical blow to him. “Em, I—” he starts.
I cut him off. “This is better. Not ideal. I would have liked to not be in the press at all, but if we’re more careful now, this one picture will blow over.” I look up at him hopefully.
It’s Jack’s turn to laugh now, “You clearly don’t understand how the press work.”
“No, Jack. I don’t. I have never needed to.” It comes out with more venom than intended and I immediately feel guilty for it. “Sorry.”
“No, you’re right,” he says quietly, jaw ticking. He’s pissed about something and I don’t think it’s just the picture or my outburst.
We sit in silence for a minute, gathering our thoughts. We were pictured together. So far no one knows who I am, but I imagine that will come out soon. We just need to lay low, not be seen again and it will blow over. It’s fine.
Jack still looks pissed about something, he’s clearly over thinking about something so I decide to ask his previous question back at him, “What are you thinking?”
Not meeting my eyes, he says, “You thought I was cheating.”
“Well, yes. With everything that has happened can you blame me?”
“Everything that has happened!?” His brows shoot up with the volume of his voice.
“Yes, with my past relationship and the pictures of you and Sam and… Fuck, you’ve never exactly been known to be a one woman at a time guy. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for it to happen for weeks because why would you stay loyal to a nobody where you live, when you could have anyone in whatever city you end up in when you’re away?”
“I’m not him.”
“I’m not saying you are!”
“No. You are, actually!” he shouts, finally looking up at me. I flinch back in my chair and he stops himself, taking a deep breath.
He’s never been an angry person, but this. I’ve pissed him off. “You immediately went to me cheating before any other thought came into your head. Have I not been loyal to you the whole time we have been together? Even before we were together. If I remember, it wasyouthat did the straying.” I can see he regrets the accusation as soon as it’s out of his mouth, but it still stings like a slap.
I feel my eyes start to sting as tears start to pool. Regret from that night floods my senses and I want to take back that one stupid kiss, but I can’t. He’d decided to forgive me for it and now he is throwing it in my face, mid-argument, to prove a point. That’s not how forgiveness works.
Jack leans back in placing one of his hands on my thigh, a peace offering, but I flinch away from his touch. “Em.” He looks down athis outstretched hand. The space between us is a wall and I’m not sure I want him to break through. He must see that on my face because he drops his hand back down and sighs.
“You forgave me for that,” I say coldly. “You don’t get to throw it back in my face when you’re mad at me.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” His head hangs in defeat.
“Do you trust me not to do it again?” I ask, I need to know.
