Page 10 of Not Falling for the Forward
“Well, you've done what you came here to do, thank you for the apology, try not to do it again.” I give a sarcastic smile, that doesn’t meet my eyes, whilst pretending the fact that he’s just called me beautiful didn’t almost knock me off my feet.
We stare at each other for a breath. Two. The foot of distance between us becomes charged with energy that sends my heart racing. It’s like a magnet is pulling me closer to him. The space between us shrinks as he moves closer, or was that me? The more I stare into those depthless blue eyes the more I feel the pull.
He opens his mouth to speak just as the door swings open and Gemma marches in. We jump apart, heads swinging to the door, “Mr Cartwright, are you lost?” she calls.
Relief floods through my body as the interruption breaks whatever tension was building between the two of us. I turn to see Jack’s cocky smile is back in full force and he directs it to Gemma. “Always a pleasure to see you too, Gemma.” He turns back to face me, a new intensity in his eyes, “See you soon, Emily.” He winks and leaves the room.
“Prick,” I say under my breath.
“Indeed.” Gemma agrees.
Chapter four
Emily
“Get fucked. Jack Cartwright did not ask you for a drink,” Jess’ voice calls though my phone speaker.
“I promise he did,” I groan.
“That’s so weird because Grealish just asked to take me to dinner!” Jess grins.
It’s Friday, almost a week since the weirdly charged interaction with Jack, and I am propped up in bed following a set of night shifts. The last week has gone in the same blur it always does when you are awake at different times to the rest of the world, and I haven’t had time to update the two most important people in my life on anything. Which is why Dan, Jess and I are now on a three-way FaceTime.
“I’m telling you. He came to apologise for breaking my nose. Then, there was this weird tension between us... and he asked me out.”
“Okay, but, in the nicest way possible. Why would he askyouout?” Jess says, quickly adding, “Not that you aren’t gorgeous, but you’re just not Jack Cartwright standard of gorgeous.”
“Thanks,” I say flatly, curling into my pillows.
“Oh, come on, Em,” Dan says sadly. “You know she didn’t mean that.”
“No, no. It’s fine. I get it. I’m ugly and no one should fancy me. Anyone I do get with will just cheat on me and leave anyway so what’s the point.”
“Em,” Jess groans on the phone.
“I know, I’m winding you up.” I grin, trying to pretend what my best friend has just voiced isn’t exactly what I have been thinking since the interaction with Jack last week. Because why would he have asked me to go for a drink with him? I’m a random woman he met once, because he broke my face and now he wants to take me out? It must be guilt. There is no other explanation.
‘A beautiful woman,’he had called me. A shiver runs down my spine as I remember how his voice had gone deep and crackly when he said it. How his huge hand had gripped mine so gently and sent electricity shooting up my arm.
Dan’s voice breaks me out of my trace, “You spoke to your mum recently?” he asks, obviously trying to change the subject but just turning it in to something worse. I sigh. I’m really not in the mood to discuss Carol Ryan today.
“No. Not since I called her to tell her about Chris,” I offer quietly.
“I still can’t believe she told you to apologise to him,” Jess groans.
“Yeah well, she’s so terrified of being alone that she couldn’t even dream of the fact that some of us aren’t that bothered.” I sigh again, remembering the conversation where I, utterly heartbroken and devastated, had to console my mother because she was also losing someone who had been like a son to her.
“We’re good at alone, though!” Jess replies.
“I’ve never had a problem with it. Being independent is the literal reason I wouldn’t let Chris put his name on the mortgage,” I confirm.
Jess agrees, nodding. “Yup. Gotta look after yourself.”
“Yeah, but it’s nice to have someone though, isn’t it?” Dan adds, making me and Jess roll our eyes. He is such a hopeless romantic, him and his wife are so in love I swear Jess mini-sicks every time she is in the same room as them.
Jess and I have more of a stand-offish approach to love. Look after yourself and if someone else wants to be there at the same time, then cool. But they don’t get the opportunity to break you. I’m still pissed at myself that I let Chris in enough to leave me in such a mess after we broke up. Thankfully, I had Jess and Dan to bring me back from that darkness. Jess camped out at my house for two weeks straight after Chris left, much to my dismay at the time. All I had wanted was to crawl under my duvet and hide from the world forever, but she wouldn’t let me. Dan continuously forced me in to helping with the twins, claiming he couldn’t cope on his own, just so I had a reason to get out of bed some days.
Despite them being there and getting in the way of my process, I have managed to build back the wall around my heart. The wall that was there before Chris had somehow built a door to worm his way in. Not again, that bad boy is stronger than ever. I’m going back to how I was when I first met Jess, all those years ago on our first day in university. Men were for playing with and enjoying but never anything long term.
