Page 129 of Between Never and Forever
And it doesn’t matter anyway, does it? In two short months, I’ll be back in L.A., and I’ll likely never see these people again. No Levi. No Brynn. No Sharon. The thought makes my whole body ache. Why is it that every time I get close to Levi, the universe yanks him away from me? It’s a sick fucking joke. A game. It makes me so angry, and all I want to do is lash out. I want to hit back harder. But I am so tired of being angry.
And yet...
There’s got to be more to this, right? He’s rebuilding my old neighborhood. He gave my mom a job when she was displaced. He put a music room in the house he built. He said he never loved Julianna. That he married her because she was sick.
Is it all just because he’s a good guy with a savior complex?
But he said I was always his one. That I’ve always been his forever.
I once thought I would take Levi Cooper in any way I could if it meant there could be a place for me in his world. Is that still true now? Can there be a place for him in mine?
I take a deep breath and push at Levi’s chest, forcing him back a step.
“The other night, you said I was your forever,” I say bluntly, and his face goes blank. “Did you mean that, or was it just a drunken mistake? Pretty lies on whiskey lips?”
He doesn’t answer. His jaw tightens and that muscle in his cheek twitches. I narrow my eyes at him.
“Got nothing to say now, Cooper? You make all these big declarations, stake outrageous claims, but in the light of day, you got nothing?”
He watches me like he thinks I’m trying to trap him. Like he thinks I’ll try to make him choose between me or Sharon. Me or Brynn. I wouldn’t. I’m just tired of lies and secrets.
“It doesn’t matter what I said,” he finally says. “It would never work. Once the movie wraps, you’ll go back to Hollywood with your life, and I’ll be here with mine.”
Your life. My life. Not ours. Never ours.
“Did you design that house for me?” I ask, switching tactics.
Another blink. Another muscle twitch. No words.
“When did you build it, Levi?”
He swallows, and I can tell he’s debating telling me. When he opens his mouth to speak, I brace myself on the car just in case I can’t handle what he says.
“There was about a year when Julianna was in remission before she got sick the second time. I did it then.”
“Did she help you design it? Since you were married?”
Levi shakes his head once.
“We were separated.”
“Why does it have a music room?” He doesn’t answer. “Were you going to divorce her?” Still no answer. “Give me something, Levi. Please. Just give me something.”
Still no answer. I huff out a laugh. It’s sad and tired. I open the car door behind me and swing it wide. I make sure when I meet his eyes again, mine are hard. I feel nothing. I give nothing away.
“You’re a coward, Levi Cooper. You’ve always been a coward. There’s no gray space about it.”
I climb into the car and shut the door calmly, then stare forward until Red slides into the driver’s seat. He waits until we’re pulling back onto the interstate before speaking.
“You okay, kid?”
I keep my head tilted back on the head rest and my eyes shut. Levi still has my aviators. I sigh and answer honestly.
“No, I don’t think I am.”
31
I watchSavannah drive off with my feet planted on the sidewalk and a vise grip of guilt around my windpipe.
