Page 148 of Between Never and Forever
You know you want to shame me, tell ‘em all I’m crazy.
You know they will believe you.
Make me the only bad guy, no one ever asks why,
Drag me through the fucking dirt.
You know I deserve it, baby, I do too.
C’mon, make it fucking hurt.
I haven’t been in this position, watching in awe from the audience, in years. Not since they played that show outside of D.C. and debuted the song that would launch their career into rock and roll stardom. Julianna was seven months pregnant, and I was still enrolled at UNC, but I’d make the drive home every weekend to be with her.
Every weekend, except the one when Sav’s band played in D.C.
I watched from the back of the venue and left immediately after, but it gutted me. Seeing her up there, loving her from a distance, hearing how she’d forgotten me. Listening to the heartbreaking lyrics of “Just One More.”
I wrote this one for a guy I thought I loved.
I was angry and jealous and proud all at once.
As I listen to her now, I know she’s in her element. She’s a born performer and a natural artist. She belongs on that stage. I’ve always known it. I used to hate it. But now? Now, I just want to be part of it, watching from the sidelines and supporting her as best I can.
I want to be in the eye of her storm instead of thrashing about with everyone else.
I don’t know how. I know it’s dangerous. I know it’s risky. But I lost her once. I can’t let her go again.
“She’s brilliant, isn’t she?”
The admiration in Sharon’s voice is audible, but it’s the tears in her eyes that make my chest tight. I take her hand in mine and give it a squeeze in response.
She is brilliant. She’s so brilliant it fucking hurts.
The Hometown Heartless play five songs. During one, Torren King joins Savannah on the mic and the crowd loses their fucking minds. Everyone still thinks they’re engaged.
“Thank you so much for having us tonight, Wilmington, and huge thanks to Biff McFly for letting us open for them tonight. We haven’t been openers in a while, and we really enjoyed it.”
Mabel pounds something on the drums and Savannah laughs.
“Now, this might be goodnight,” Sav says with a grin.
“It’s not goodbye,” Brynn and the rest of the crowd shouts back.
“But just in case, so you don’t forget us, we’ve got Mabel on drums, Jonah on guitar, Torren on bass, you can call me Sav, and we are The Hometown Heartless. We had a blast with you tonight, Wilmington. Have a great night!”
Red and Ziggy disappeared the moment Sav started her goodnight speech, and when Jonah, Torren, Mabel and Sav exit the stage, the eighties tribute band, Biff McFly takes their place.
“Never thought we’d get to say thattheSav Loveless and The Hometown Heartless opened for us,” the lead singer jokes.
The audience claps, and Brynn nudges my side.
“Dad, your phone. You got a message.”
I grab it from her and open it up.
Savannah
Meet us at my rental.
